Our Forgotten Lullaby
by Dean's Little Secret
Summary: Deep in a coma Dean starts having memories of his time in Forks and his forgotten lover. Upon waking he remembers nothing of the last four years but everything about the mysterious vampire. Can he make it to forever or is the end closer then he thinks?
1. Chapter 1 Remembered

**So sorry it's taken forever to post this. I started the sequel awhile ago then I had to go have surgery and life's very crazy right now. But here it is at last. I'd like to thank SupernaturalSweetheart for her help coming with up the plot (I was unsure of what to do and she gave me a brilliant idea) I've changed a few things but she helped me get this story on the way :) so I dedicated this to her. **

**Warning: Slash, mpreg**

**Our **_**Forgotten **_**Lullaby**

**Chapter I: Remembered**

_Soft kisses. Blinding pain. An icy embrace. Fear. Love. Eyes like golden fire. Eyes as black as night. 'I love you'. 'We hate you.' Safe, loved, home. Alone, scared, hell. An icy touch. An iron grip. Soft caresses. Painful hits. Soothing words. Taunting shouts. Dean. I. We. Love. Hate. You..._

Dean's heavy lids snapped open, he gasped in ragged breathes through clenched teeth expecting, _always expecting_ for there to be pain. Today was no different. He was stiff from pain that seemed to spread to every part of his body. He couldn't see through the fog that blurred his vision but he felt rough but gently hands push him back against the bed. He didn't think about who was in the room with him, he didn't stop to try and make out the annoying buzzing noises. All he could do was focus on the memories that had played so vividly in his mind while he was in the care of the darkness. He closed his eyes, the fog was not willing to budge and he would not try to force it from his sight, he had to think, had to remember.

"Dean?"

Did someone say his name? It sounded so far away but there was a large hand resting over his, he could feel the warm skin. Warm? Dean's eyes immediately reopened, he sat up so fast that every bone, every muscle seemed to scream in protest. He doubled over in pain, a soothing hand ran over his back and a voice… a voice that sounded like Sammy's whispered to him that he was ok. But he wasn't ok, he wasn't ok because… because _EDWARD! _His panicked eyes scanned the room, where was he? Where was he? Oh God, no, he had been fine… Jason hadn't... Jason didn't kill him. Right? Oh god where was he?

"Dean, man calm down, it's ok, you're safe now."

Ok, he was sure that time he heard Sam but Sam was at Stanford, he was going to be a lawyer. Fuck, he wished his head would stop pounding so he could think straight for one fucking minute. He felt strong arms grip his shoulders and a misty face appeared before him. He blinked repeatedly until the fog vanished from his vision. "Sammy?" Dean asked. Why was Sammy here? Why wasn't Edward here? "Wh… why are you here?"

Sam's brow furrowed in concern but he laughed, in a way that seemed he was trying to convince himself that everything was ok. "To make sure you don't flirt the nurses to death."

"Nurses...?"

"Dean" Sam's brow, if possible, furrowed deeper "You've taken a beating, you're in the hospital, do you remember?"

Beating? Dean crocked his head to the side when he was hit with a memory of being flung around a room like a broken toy. A hunter... Jason. High on vampire blood and out for revenge. Edward. Blood. _"Dean"_ cool arms eased him gently from the floor; the coolness makes the pain go away. He makes the pain go away_._ _"I'm here, you're safe now." _The memory fades leaving glimpse of flying through the air and crashing to the ground and then darkness. Dean's eyes slowly open and he stares at Sam like he is some stranger. "Where is he?"

Sam momentarily looked confused but then his face shows signs of understanding "He's dead Dean" Sam said and he sounded relieved, how could he be fucking relieved when Edward was dead. "I killed him... remember?"

Dean didn't have time to think, he didn't feel the pain as he lunged at his brother. He went to throw a punch but his younger brother moved out of the way and caught him before he could topple to the floor. He had no strength left, the rage had burnt out too quickly and he had only sorrow left to fuel his broken body. He collapsed back onto the bed, Sam was staring down at him with confusion but Dean could only glare. How could Sam kill him? How could he? God no! He wasn't dead. He couldn't be. "How could you?" Dean choked out "I loved him."

Sam's confusion turned to bewilderment "Dean... I'm going to get a nurse; I think Alistair did more damage than we thought."

"What?" the sorrow died from Dean's face, something was not right. God where was Edward? "No, Sam I don't need a nurse I need Edward. Please tell me where he is! Please tell me you didn't kill him. He's not evil, he's not."

Sam slowly sat down and swallowed hard, he looked like he was struggling to keep his cool "Dean, who is Edward" he pronounced each word carefully.

"G... good" Dean stuttered and shook his head "he's not evil... he loves me..." Dean looked up "Damnit Sam where is he?"

Sam jumped back in surprise at Dean's sudden outburst. "Dean, do you remember anything about Alistair or what the angels asked of you?"

"Angels? Alistair?" Dean whispered. What was going on? This wasn't right. He took a deep breath to try and still his racing heart. _'Just close your eyes Dean'_ he heard Edward's voice (soft like velvet) in his mind. He took shallow breaths and tried to block out his surroundings but the loud constant beeping of the monitor made it difficult. _"Focus on the rain Dean'_. Dean listened, he heard the beeping, Sam's heavy breathing but there was no rain. He slowly opened one eye to take in the room; sun was spilling in through the window. He was not in Forks. The gloomy town may have had some sunny days but it was never this bright. He looked back at Sam and he really looked. He looked older. Sure he hadn't seen him in a year but he looked much older. Something was not right.

"I'm not in Forks, am I?"

Sam cocked his head to the side in the same manner as Dean had "No... No, Dean you're not."

**(.............)**

Dean's head was spinning; he gripped the sheets beneath him tightly as he took in every word Sam spoke. His head hurt, his body hurt, everything hurt and nothing made sense. He was missing four years of his life. Four years filled with demon battles, hunts, one night stands, loss, laughter, sorrow, happiness, it was all gone. Every day erased, like defeating the Yellow-Eyed Demon and watching Sam die were nothing. He had forgotten it all; his father's death, his deal with the crossroad demon, Hell, angels, everything. He'd forgotten that he and Sam had become brothers again; he didn't know Sam like he should. He didn't remember the fights, the good times or the tears. He could only remember those golden eyes and the feeling he was given every time Edward was around. He remembered everything from his time in Forks.

"Dean" Sam snapped his fingers in front of Dean and he snapped out of his trance "you ok?"

"I'm... just mulling it all over" he sighed "I'm sorry, I... I'm just really confused right now."

"It's ok" Sam smiled half-heartedly "Maybe... maybe Castile can get your memory back or we should ring Bobby" he suddenly jumped to his feet, towering over Dean. "Yeah, we should call Bobby."

"I'm fine Sam" Dean said firmly before Sam could even move "It'll all come back" he grinned, _play it cool Dean _he ordered himself_. _"I just need some sleep and a ticket out of this place" he looked around the room with disgust.

"Dean you are not remotely fine" Sam retorted "you have no memory of the last four years not to mention you're lucky to be alive" his tone and features softened "I nearly lost you Dean... please.... please just rest" he saw that Dean was about to protest "for me. Please for me."

"Ok" he sighed. "Since we're so chummy again I guess I'll do this for you."

Sam sighed again "If you're pissed at me for leaving you've already given me crap for it so please don't start going off about something that I'm pretty sure you're over."

"Sorry" Dean looked down, suddenly interested in his hands "go call Bobby or Castiel or whatever."

"I'll be right back"

Dean barely heard Sam, his mind already miles away. How could he have forgotten Edward? The man he loved. The man he was willing to give up everything for. How could Edward let him walk away? How could he let him forget? They were meant to be together. _Forever._ Dean looked up, his icy stare rising to meet the clear glass of the large window that over looked the car park. Out there, _out there_ was were Edward was. Miles and miles away, yes, but Dean would go to him. Dean would demand to know why he let him forget what they had. He would find the man he loved and this time, _this time_ nothing was going to stand in their way.

**(.............)**

The rain pounded down, echoing loudly in the glass room. It was dark; the only source of light came from the few candles that stood upon the piano. The soft glowing flames flickered in pools of gold, making them look, if possible, more beautiful. Dean was lost in those golden pools; the soft melody of the music had taken him away from his trouble and the pale skinned teens presence was enough to make his worst memories turn to ash. He smiled lovingly at the vampire, whose golden gaze was focused on the piano keys. The soft melody ended just as a streak of lightening lit up the night sky.

Gold met green and the two lovers' mirrored smiles moments before locking lips. Soft warm lips moved against ever cold ones but the chill of the vampire's skin never seemed to be noticed for the invisible fire warmed every touch. Lips parted and tongues ventured and explored as did hands. Dean's body burnt, not like the burn of vampire venom, but the burn of liquid fire that seared in his veins every time Edward's lips were upon his. The kiss came to a sudden halt and Dean gasped in a mouthful of cold air before gazing into gold orbs.

"What's wrong?" the hunter asked, his warn hand running over the smooth perfect marble cheek.

"I miss you" the vampire bowed his head.

"What?" Dean asked and he swore he saw Edward flicker. Like a ghost "Edward I'm right here."

"I'm sorry I let you go" another flicker and the room suddenly grew colder "I wish you were here."

"Edward I am here" Dean went to shake the vampires shoulders but his hands went right through him "Edward?!" he asked, his words laced with panic "EDWARD!"

"Dean. Wake up."

Dean awoke and sat up so fast that the world spun. The man who sat perched on his bed was unknown to him; his stone features were bleak and his green eyes dull. The fleeting panic halted in Dean's veins and he found himself able to move and reach for the knife he hid beneath his pillow. The strange man gave Dean an odd look before letting out a deep sigh. His green eyes looked to the ceiling but he seemed to be looking beyond it.

"I am Castiel" he announced in a deep voice.

"The angel?" Dean couldn't believe he just asked that. Angels? No way. "What do you want?"

"I came to see how you were fairing" he looked back, his deep voice seemed odd after listening to Edward's velvety one "Sam told me that you have lost your memory of the last four years" he still gazed at the ceiling, he sat so still (just like Edward) "I hate to go through this and I really have no time but I need you to trust me" he looked at Dean now, his eyes piercing. "God has work for you and I can't have you running off to some vampire."

"Excuse me?" Dean exclaimed with fake bewilderment "I don't know what you are talking about."

"Yes you do Dean" he said and he should sound angry but his face and voice showed no sign of it. "I know you loved him but that was years ago. You must forget him and move on. You and Sam have to stop Lilith."

"I always imagined angels would have fluffy wings" Dean mused but his tone and features suddenly hardened. "I don't know who you think you are but I am sure as hell not listening to a word you say." A flicker of an unreadable emotion crossed the so-called angels face. "Here's what I'm gonna do. I am going to drive to Forks, as soon as I can move without feeling like I lost a round with a brick wall, then I am going to find Edward and you and God can go pester someone else cause' I want the ending I pictured a long time ago, got it?"

"I've... got it" he said gradually, like the words were unknown to him "But I can't allow it… I'm sorry."

Dean ground his teeth together "fuck you."

The angel grimaced at Dean's curse "Please understand Dean" he looked back to the ceiling, like it was the most amazing thing he had ever gazed at "But I have to do this..." he sighed "I don't want to... you deserve to forget all the pain but I have no choice." The angel looked back at Dean, his eyes flashed white just as his hand came to rest on Dean's forehead.

A blinding pain had Dean screaming in agony. But pain was not all he received. Images of his forgotten memories flashed in his mind, showing him things he did not want to remember. He saw his father dead after he had given his soul for him. He saw Sam dying in his arms. He saw himself selling his soul to save Sam. He could see it all so clear and it hit him so hard that he was like being hit by that Mac truck all over again. He struggled to stay conscious. His memories were creeping ever so close to the day he died. He didn't want to remember hell. Castiel must have heard him (because he was pretty sure he screamed it out) because his memories bypassed hell and went straight to him fighting with Sam because he was using his powers.

It all became too much. The pain, the memories, every emotion that went with them, it was maddening. He could feel the darkness lacing itself around him, dragging him down into the murky waters but he was willing to go with her. And by some luck she claimed him and he sighed in relief as he fell into the black.

**(.............)**

When Dean woke he was alone in his hospital room. The never ending annoying beeps of the monitor had woken him from his pain-induced sleep. While in the care of the darkness it had allowed him to see more of his forgotten memoires. He remembered everything now and if Castiel thought Dean remembering everything was going to change how he felt he was dead wrong. The yearning for Edward was almost painful. He didn't feel complete without the pale skin teen he fell in with all those years ago. He didn't care that God had work for him, he didn't care that Lilith was breaking seals, why should he? He'd spent so much time doing everything for everyone else when the most important thing to him slipped through his fingers long ago. No, oh no, this time he was getting what he wanted.

He was going back to Forks. He was going to be with Edward. No angel, no demon, hell not even Sam would, _could_ stop him. He was in love and nothing stopped love. Not even the swiftly approaching apocalypse, Lucifer or God.

Dean climbed out of the hospital bed, wincing as the movement jostled his sore muscles. Ignoring the pain he gradually got dressed, trying to be fast but not injure himself further all at the same time. Stiffly he made his way out of the room, creeping down the long white corridor; Sam must have been around here since the Impala's keys had been left behind. Hitching his duffle higher on his shoulder he ducked into the lift just as he saw Sam round the corner. He willed the elevator to move faster. Once the doors were open he took off, his injuries slowed him down but he had to move quickly. Sam, no doubt, would be looking for him already.

Someone must have been on his side because he made it to the car without passing out from the ache in his sore (and possibly broken) ribs. His baby roared to life, her purr easing Dean's tension. He gave one last pensive look at the hospital before gunning the engine and taking off in search of his lost love.

**(.............)**

Sam paced the length of the motel room. He'd been doing this nonstop for hours and his legs were killing him but he couldn't bring himself to sit down or even stay still. He was a wreck. Dean had been missing for hours, he had left his phone in the hospital and Sam had no idea where he was heading. He shouldn't be out and about in his condition. He was lucky to be alive after what Alistair did to him. Hell he had lost his memory and would still be walking around with no idea if it weren't for Castiel, who, was not coming when Sam called to him. Sam didn't know who to turn to. He'd tried ringing Bobby but he didn't get an answer and Ruby wasn't answering her cell either.

Growing impatient he decided to summon her, he knew she'd be pissed but he didn't care. He had to find Dean. He made short work of the summoning ritual and a few moments later a young woman with blonde hair and tan skin appeared before him. She crossed her arms over her chest and jutted out her hip and tilted her head to the side. Sam strolled towards her, no time for pleasantries.

"I have to find Dean."

"And you think I know where he is?"

"I don't know what else to do" he snapped. "Dean woke up with no memory after he got the crap beaten outta him by Alistair and he was babbling on about some guy called Edward and Forks" Sam threw his arms up in the air in frustration. "I got Castiel to restore his memory but now he is gone."

Ruby laughed "Oh Sammy, Sammy" she sighed deeply "Don't you know anything about Dean's dirty little secret?"

Sam crocked his head to the side mirroring the demons early expression of confusion and irritation "what are you talking about Ruby?"

"Well where to begin" she walked, with hips swaying, towards Sam and sat herself down on the small table "Once upon a time Dean went to Forks to kill some vampires, only he met someone" she paused for dramatic effect.

"Who?" Sam asked when she didn't continue.

"Edward Cullen" she smirked, revealing her hosts perfect white teeth "a young vampire and Dean's former lover."

Sam blinked once, twice, three times "what?"

"Yeah, I didn't know he swung that way either" she shrugged absentmindedly "but he does. Anyway to cut a long story short, a hunter named Jason Woodson started hunting the Cullen's, so Dean being Dean played the hero and got banged up pretty good and lost his memory of his time in Forks" Ruby leant back and stretched, exposing her well toned stomach. "But that's not even the most shocking part."

Sam, bewildered, replied "what could be more shocking then the fact my brother dated a _male_ vampire."

She lent forwards, this time exposing her cleavage "He asked to become one."

**Pleas review =)**


	2. Chapter 2 Back to You

**AN.: I forgot to mention that Ruby still has her old body (Katie Cassidy) **

**Chapter II: Back to You**

Darkness swallowed the Impala as Dean drove deep into the lush and evergreen woods. The drenched road twisted and turned until it ended at a large iron gate that thankfully was open. The rain seemed to cease to a drizzle as Dean drove into the allotment that belonged to the Cullen Family. The large glass house appeared before Dean, almost a welcome sight. He came to a halt a few meters from the glass house. Memories flashed in Dean's mind, making his heart race a million miles a minute. Dean Winchester was the perfect flirt, the perfect ladies man but when it came to Edward all words escaped him. The vampire had stolen Dean's heart all those years ago and it was no wonder he had never been able to find love, had never been able to feel that spark. His heart had been left in Forks in the care of his lost love.

Dean killed the engine and silence followed. He just stared at the mansion, he wanted to move, to get out and run to Edward but he stayed frozen. Doubt now clouding his mind. It had been years since they had been together, perhaps Edward had already moved on. Why would he really want to wait for Dean anyway? He wasn't waiting though; he'd turned his back on Dean. He let him forget what they had. If he had just come to see Dean then he would have remembered everything. Why did he allow him to forget? Did he not really love him?

Dean tightened his grip on the steering wheel. He'd driven four days with practically no sleep and now he was having second thoughts. He had come so far, the least he could do was see Edward. But if Edward and he no longer loved Dean then he'd be heartbroken. What was he to do? Turn and run or face the man he loved?

The door to the Impala being swiftly opened had Dean jumping in surprise moments before whirling to face the pixie-like vampire that was Alice Cullen. She threw her small yet strong arms around him and pulled him out of the car and into her icy embrace. He hugged the vampire back and breathed her in, her scent was like the most beautiful perfume. He slowly pulled back from the girl who had been like a sister to him all those years ago.

"You still smell good" she said, her sweet velvety voice easing some of Dean's nerves "I knew you were coming."

"Does... does Edward know?" even though it had been years since he had been here, standing under the near constant dark sky it felt so normal to him, like he had never stopped doing it.

Alice bowed her head "I didn't tell him" she looked up, her eyes darkened by trouble "Dean... Dean, Edward's... hunting" she smiled sweetly but it seemed forced. "He will return at sundown."

"He's moved on, hasn't he?" Dean's heart sank.

"Four years Dean" she turned and started to head towards the house, Dean following close behind "four years and he still loves you" Dean felt his heart lift "He tried to move on, tried everything but he's heart belongs to you" she smiled sweetly "Come inside, Esme will love to see you again." She took Dean's hand into her small icy one and they headed off towards the house.

The soaked gravel crunched under their feet as they moved towards the glass house. Dean stared up at with a beaming smile, all of his happy memoires swirled in his mind, lightening his mood and easing his worry. Edward hadn't moved on, he still loved him! This time everything would work out. It would be like he had never left.

They neared the house and the front door swung open and a figure stormed out. Before Dean could even blink he was being dangled four feet up in the air, a small first gripping his shirt was the only thing keeping him up. He looked down into dark eyes, he felt a smirk tug at his lips, oh yeah, things hadn't changed a bit. "Aw didn't know you missed me so much Rose."

Rosalie beared her teeth, her fangs visible "why did you come back?" she lifted him higher "he is better off without you! We all are! We don't need you and your kind coming around here. We've already lost a member of our family because of you" she let go of Dean and he fell to the ground with a heavy thud. He forced back a cry of pain as the simple fall jostled his sore body. He ground his teeth and sent daggers at the blonde vampire. "Leave" she shouted, her voice was choked though and he knew if she could, she'd be crying.

Dean looked to Alice, who was staring at Rosalie with a hostile gaze "What happened has nothing to do with Dean" she said sternly then moved to pull the hunter back to his feet.

Dean didn't move when Alice ushered him towards the house "What happened?" silence. "Damnit, what happened?"

"Hunters came" Rosalie's dark eyes locked with Dean's, almost challengingly "to look for Jason and you know what they found?" she stepped closer to him and grabbed a first full of his shirt "Jasper out hunting..." her voice hitched "and they killed him."

**(.............)**

"How do you know all about this Ruby?" Sam demanded as he drove towards Forks at frightening speeds.

"Demon grapevine" she replied matter-of-factly.

"How do you really know about Dean, Ruby?" Sam demanded

"I told you" she said tersely "demons talk Sam. Now I don't know who or how they found out but we know very well that your brother fucked a vampire."

Sam grimaced "I still can't believe this." He paused to take a deep breath "I mean, Dean doesn't even seem the type" he shook his head "This has to be a mistake."

"Sorry kiddo" Ruby said grinning "it's true and more importantly Dean remembers now so that means you're gonna have to get used to the idea that brother dearest likes cock and no doubt will be a vampire soon."

Sam slammed the breaks on just as a light turned red "what... Ruby..." he shook his head "Dean can't become a vampire! He won't" Sam drove off, despite the fact that the light was still red. "We have to stop him."

"Aww Sammy we can't stop true love" she said in a babyish voice "and trust me when I say this, Dean loves Edward more than anything."

Sam shook his head "not more than me."

Ruby sighed "yes Sam, more than you" she turned to look at the bewildered hunter "Dean is willing to give up everything for Edward, he is willing to spend eternity with him and he hasn't exactly stopped to think that you're gonna die one day."

"No, Ruby you're wrong" his hands tightened on the steering wheel "You're wrong."

**(.............)**

Dean stared into the brown liquid that filled the porcelain mug that was held loosely in his hands, its billowing steam rising into his face. He stared into the mug, hoping the liquid would somehow help him make sense of everything. How could he have done this? He was the reason Jasper was gone, he went after Jason, he should have made the Cullen family go into hiding and wait out until he left. But no, he had to play the hero and all he got was a lost memory and a dead friend. He shouldn't have gone after James, if only he...

"Dean."

Dean jumped as he heard a velvety voice say his name. He turned to face Alice, she was still as beautiful as ever but she had a sad look in her eyes, how could he not have noticed. She sat down next to him; he'd forgotten how graceful and fluent they were. She placed her cold hands on his arm and gave him a reassuring squeeze. "Alice I am so sorry. It's all my-"

"-It's not your fault" she smiled half heartedly "You weren't here, you didn't lead the hunters here. So this, in no way, is your fault" she let go, goose bumps left behind from her icy touch "So tell me what-" the rest of her sentence was not spoken, her face went blank and her golden eyes glazed over. Dean watched her with concern but stayed silent until her vision had passed. Her eyes came back into focus and she looked at Dean with a pained expression. "You need to leave."

"What? Why?" he exclaimed.

Alice shook her head in what looked look despair "Dean you have to get as far away from Forks, from us, as soon as possible" she stood and pulled Dean with her "Dean, you are my brother in so many ways and I love you" she sighed deeply "Dean please leave. You have to leave."

"Alice" Dean gripped her shoulders; it was like holding onto a statue "Alice, what did you see?"

She locked her panicked golden orbs with Dean's soft green ones "I don't really know" she scrubbed her hands over her face; she was awfully fidgety for someone who didn't have to move at all. "I just saw you in a dark room and someone is after you Dean or will be" she slapped her hand on her face, Dean flinched but he knew it didn't hurt her. "Ever since Jasper" she looked up at him and her eyes were dull and the spark gone "I can't see my visions properly" she looked down ashamed "Dean... I think you're in danger... you should go."

Dean pulled the pixie-like vampire into his warm embrace and held onto her as she sobbed tearlessly on his chest. "Alice I am not going anywhere" he rubbed soothing circles on her back, ignoring the coldness "No one's going to hurt me or this family" he felt tears sting his eyes and he didn't try to hide them, he let them fall for him, _for Alice_. "Everything's going to be ok" he pressed a soft kiss to her hair "It will be ok."

"Alice, Esme, Rose." came a voice that had Dean's heart beating a million miles a minute. "We're home."

He pulled away from Alice just in time to see the man he loved make an entrance into the large living room. He stood frozen (not unusual for a vampire) his jaw dropped to reveal his perfect white teeth and his golden eyes seemed to shimmer with love, desire and a flicker of lust. He looked even more beautiful then Dean remembered. His skin was as white as snow, his lips full and red and his eyes... his eyes left Dean breathless. His sweet smell tingled Dean's nose and he felt a smile grace his face as he took in the vampire's wayward hair and muscularly body. He stepped closer to the pale skinned teen, his smile widening. "Edward."

"Dean" Edward swallowed hard, he was still frozen "You... you remember me."

"Don't know how I could forget" he presented his famous cocky grin but the vampire stayed still. "Do I get a hug?" he stepped closer which made Edward step back and Dean's heart skipped a beat.

"You shouldn't have come back" Edward looked away and tried to keep his voice firm "You need to leave" he looked back at Dean, his eyes glowing with pain. "Please Dean, just go. It's what's best."

Dean's heart froze, his body froze and he was pretty sure the world stopped spinning. Why was Edward telling him to leave? He was supposed to still love him, he was supposed to welcome him with open arms and everything was supposed to fall right back into place. He stared at Edward for a few more heart aching seconds then looked down; defeated. "I'll be in town" he said to the young female vampire. "If" he kept his face towards Alice but his eyes darted to Edward "you wanna see me."

And with that the broken hearted hunter left.

**(.............)**

The rain pounded against the roof and echoed loudly in the silent motel room. The room was cloaked in darkness, save for the occasional bolt of lightning. Dean stared up at the ceiling; he could see, in the moments of lightning, the shadows of cobwebs draping from the still fan. He'd been laying here for hours or was it minutes? It felt like years since he collapsed onto the springy mattress and locked a teary gaze with the dirty ceiling. If anyone was here to look at him all they'd see was an empty shell, scratch that, a broken empty shell.

How could Edward have told him to go? _To leave_. He'd seen exactly what Edward really felt in his golden eyes but he denied his feelings and sent Dean, broken hearted, on his way. How could have he turned away the man he loved? So many questions and no one here to answer them. Just like fucking usual. He sat up and swung his legs around to the side of the bed, he gazed out at the dark and rainy night. He was finally back, he had remembered and he was back so why didn't Edward welcome him with open arms? He still loved him, right? Or did Dean only see what he wanted to see? Fuck! He had so many questions and now, just like years ago, the silence was screaming.

"You really have to get your thoughts under control."

Dean jumped up from the bed and spun around to face the vampire that owned his heart. "Edward" he smiled unsurely "Wh..." Damnit why did he have to stutter and loss words every time Edward was around? "Why are you here?"

Edward sighed heavily "I'm sorry" he looked away "I just... missed you so much" he looked back "I was so startled to see you" he made a few hesitant steps towards the hunter "I thought.... I thought I'd never get to hold you again" he ran his icy fingers up Dean's bare arms "or kiss you" his lips curled back to form a smirk "I shouldn't have let you go... but I thought it was for the best."

Dean sighed, his hot breath brushing against the vampires skin "I know you were trying to do what you thought was right and I'm not mad" he shrugged "Well I am a little mad" he moved his hands up to cup the teens face. "When I left Forks I felt like I was leaving a part of myself behind… and ever since that day I felt like something important was missing... now I know it was you" he moved his face closer, Edward's sweet scent tinglingly Dean's senses. "I don't understand why you don't want me to be a vampire but I am sure you can understand that I still love you and living without you is like only half living.

He smiled at Edward, he wasn't sure that made perfect sense but the way Edward was looking at him told him that he understood. "I'm sorry I forgot" breaths mingled and noses touched "I'm not leaving though." He brushed his lips over the vampire's; he could feel his heart race and Edward's scent seemed to get spicy. Dean grinned before kissing Edward again, this time he kept his lips against the vampires for awhile longer but not too long. "Turn me" his voice took on a seductive edge "and "we" he nuzzled into the vampire's neck; nipping and kissing at the marble flesh "can have forever."

Dean heard Edward moan low in his throat as he sucked the cool flesh on his neck, he was disappointed that it was impossible to leave a mark behind. He'd make sure the world knew that Edward was his though. He continued to kiss at the marble white skin as his hands began removing Edward's designer jacket. He'd always liked Edward's sense of fashion, not Dean's style but it suited the perfect being just right. The jacket came off and another low moan filled the night air. The kisses came to an end at the collar of Edward's button up shirt; the hunter looked back at the vampire who had his eyes shut and was breathing deeply. Dean smirked; he must be doing something right if he was making the vampire breath.

Dean's fingers fumbled with the top button, he was tempted to just rip the shirt off but it looked expensive. He however was pulled away from his task by a hungry mouth. Edward devoured Dean with a passionate kiss, making the hunter weak at the knees. The kiss only ended when Dean needed air and even then he'd only gulp in a breath before diving back in for more. He's body had missed this so much. He'd had plenty of sex since leaving Edward but never had his body burnt with such desire, with such _need_. The kisses rained down on him, the vampire kissed every inch of skin he could get his mouth on.

Dean wasn't too sure how they had managed to go from the foot of the bed to the wall but he wasn't about to complain. He was searing with lust that was enough to drive a man insane. Every touch of skin, every kiss had him aching with want. He fumbled with Edward's jeans, their shirts had been discarded and their pants were the last thing standing between them and pure ecstasy. Dean felt Edward push his hands out of the way and the vampire gracefully and quickly undid the zipper before moving onto Dean's.

His cold touch made Dean moan into the kiss and buck his hips. He could feel Edward smirking into the kiss as he removed Dean of his last article of clothing before pushing him harder against the wall. The feverish kiss came to a halt and Dean opened lust filled eyes to stare at Edward who smiled lovingly at him. The smile turned into a smirk of lust and the vamp started to run his icy fingers up and down Dean's toned chest. Never going to the place that Dean longed to be touched.

"Don't be a tease" the hunter panted.

"I... I won't" he kissed him tenderly "I just want to try something new."

Dean grinned "I like new things."

"Can I..." Edward paused unsure of how to ask the question so in stand he ran his other hand down to Dean's backside in hopes that he'd understand. He nodded with a reassuring smile and allowed the vamp to lead him towards the bed.

The mattress squeaked under their weight but they were too engrossed in what they were about to do to even notice. Edward's chilled body draped over Dean's burning one. They continued to kiss; their love seemed even stronger than it had four years ago. Well you know what they say, absents makes the heart grow fonder. So now the two lovers were reunited and their fire was lit again and it was maddening. Dean moaned when Edward's member brushed against his, the mere feeling almost making him go overboard but he knew it was only going to get better. Sex with a vampire was beyond amazing.

It was beyond words.

"Dean" he felt Edward's kiss up his throat and to his ear "do you have anything?"

Dean gasped as Edward's fangs scrapped against his sizzling flesh "In... in the duffle" he took a fistful of bronze hair moments before kissing him hungrily "there's lube in the duffle" he said after the breathless kiss. Dean closed his eyes and he felt the weight disappear from his chest but not a moment later it was back and he opened his eyes to see Edward grinning at him with his perfect lips and squeezing the lube onto his icy fingers.

"Ready?"

"Ready."

Dean couldn't believe he'd gone four years without Edward's touch, without his kisses and his love. If Edward were to vanish then Dean would surely fall to pieces, because now that he remembered his lost love he was the very air he breathed. He felt Edward's cool fingers trace his entrance before the vampire slid one digit in and Dean arched in to touch, needing more. He moaned low in his throat as Edward added another, his touch was so gentle and Dean longed for it to be a little rougher. He bucked his hips and gripped the bronze hair of his lover.

"I missed you..." Edward breathed, nipping lightly at the other man's ear, just the way he remembered he liked it. Dean gripped Edward pronounced shoulders, his nails digging into the marble flesh. He felt Edward scissor his fingers and he just so brushed Dean's sweet spot. Dean bit at the stoned cold flesh, the sweetest taste tingling his tongue. A few moments later Edward eased his fingers from Dean, leaving him with an empty feeling.

"Edward… go in."

"I could lose control" Edward whispered against Dean's lips.

"Don't care" Dean's lips brushed ever so gently over Edward's "Just fuck me already."

Obeying his lover's request, Edward positioned himself before entering Dean. Dean gasped, bucked his hips and grabbed the headboard. The thrusts started. Slow and steady at first but Dean urged Edward on with his nonsense words. The tempo was fast paced and rough yet they kissed and held each other close. It was the perfect mixture of rough and gentle. Dean saw stars; he was dizzy from the feeling. This was better than he remembered.

He gripped his lover's shoulders as he drove in and out of him, each thrust tearing a yell from his lips. It was heavenly yet he was sure he was going to have many bruises in the morning. His lips were numb from the endless kisses, his hip bones ached from the constant slamming of the vampire's stone like body but nothing could have felt better. Edward's icy hand wrapped around his burning member, he gasped and arched into the touch, needing more. _Always needing more._

"Oh God Edwar-" his words were silenced by perfect lips moulding against his. Dean came hot and sticky into his hands just as Edward hit 'that' sensitive spot inside of him and he cried out to the heavens. Edward's tempo slowed down but not by much and a few moments later he came cold and sticky inside Dean. Dean shrived from the strange yet wonderful sensation. Edward lay down beside him. He didn't look like he just had sex; the only thing out of place on him was his messy hair. He wasn't panting or soaked with sweat like Dean, he was just staring at him.

Staring at him with a gaze that said 'I love you so much'.

And without another word or whisper Dean succumbed to the darkness.

**(.............)**

A large glass house loomed over the cheap car that snuck onto the property uninvited. Sam stared up at the house with bright eyes; it looked so beautiful in the soft moonlight. He turned to Ruby who smirked and mouthed 'nice'. Sam killed the engine and headed up the driveway. While Ruby had been driving he'd taken time to dig up the Cullen's house address and also stopped to get know them. Of course there wasn't much to get to know. They were vampires after all. He wasn't sure how Ruby knew some much about them but he trusted her (well as much as a hunter could trust a demon.) and he knew they were not dangerous. For a fact Carlisle Cullen was a doctor at the Forks hospital and yeah, sure, he could still be a killer but Ruby had been very sure when she said they were harmless.

He braced himself as he walked closer and closer to the glass house. He didn't know what to say really, he was still shocked by his brother's past. But if Dean wanted to date a vampire then Sam was ok with that. He just wanted to make sure his brother was ok. He felt a slight hint of anger towards the mysterious Edward Cullen, how was it possible that Dean loved him more than Sam? Sam didn't want Dean to be in love with him he just wanted to know that Dean would put him first, not some vampire. It was selfish and childish but it was selfish of Dean to have nearly left Sam.

The young hunter shook his head to clear his thoughts and rapped on the door before stuffing his hands into jackets pocket to avoid the chilly night air. A moment later the door opened and Sam had to take a step back. A sweet aroma tinged the night air and a lovely sight greeted his eyes. He smiled at the pixie-like vampire with flawless white skin, an amazing smile and soft golden eyes that were hypnotizing. She stepped out into the chilly night, the wind rustled her short brown hair and the sweet smell grew more intense. Sam stared at the pale beauty for a few moments before finding his voice.

"I'm Sam Winchester."

"I know" her voice was like silk to Sam's ears and he swore he felt some of his tension ease. "I'm Alice Cullen" she stuck her hand out and Sam accepted, jumping in surprise at how cold she was. She offered a sympathetic smile before saying "If you are looking for Dean then he's not here."

"How'd you know?" Sam asked, still in awe over her beauty.

She shrugged and the simple gesture was fluent and graceful "why don't you come in out of the cold and I will tell you" she smiled, her fangs now revealed.

"I should find my brother."

"I wouldn't go right now" she replied and winked one perfect gold eye that was framed with thick black eyelashes, "if you know what I mean."

Sam blinked and blushed sheepishly "Oh I see..." she grinned at him and he found himself blushing further "You, ah, you know I'm gonna just get some food" he scratched behind his ear, a nervous habit he picked up from Dean. "I'll see ya around." Another sheepish smile and the youngest Winchester turned and made a hasty dash back to the car. He climbed in and turned to face Ruby, who's smile beamed with amusement.

"I see Alice put a spell on you" Ruby said with a hint of laughter.

"I've seen and killed vampires before... but she was" he paused to start the engine "so different. Her smell, her eyes, everything about her was inviting... was beautiful."

"Because she's a Strigoi" Sam stared at her questioningly. "The vampires you and Dean have hunted are half-breeds. They are not as strong or as fast or as pale and they don't have the golden eyes" she explained. "All the vampires you and Dean have ever slaughtered are from a mortal mother bloodline. Male vampires, the nasty ones, rape mortal women and that's how the half-breeds came to be. Only a few half-breeds can have children and only a few Strigoi males can produce sperm. Anyway the offspring of half-breeds were still that, half-breeds. However if a Strigoi has a baby with a half-breed it will be a full vampire."

Sam mulled over Ruby's words "yeah that's just confusing."

She smiled slyly "so if you and the pixie vampire got intimate there would be no chance of you two having babies."

"Why?" he asked ignoring her jibe.

"Female Strigoi can't have babies only half-breeds" she replied "did you not listen to me?"

"I'm just over stressed."

"Oh Sammy, Dean will be fine."

"How can you be so sure?"

She laughed "It's Dean. He's always fine... well in the end."

**I'm so glad to see everyone is happy to finally have this story up :) thank you all for the reviews and a BIG thank you to my friend Lora for beta'ing. The next update should be along shortly.**

**PS: I 'borrowed' Strigoi from these two vampire books i read, I thought it would make more sense then what I said in the first story lol**


	3. Chapter 3 Just for You

**Sorry for the late update, I've been in hospital having tests done and had no internet :( Never fear though, I am back! Here is a new update **

**Chapter III: Just for You**

Morning came too quick for Dean. The rain belted down against the roof, echoing all around the small motel room. Dean shifted in the warm bed; a heavy body lay above the covers, unmoving. Slowly Dean turned to face the vampire, his golden eyes were staring vacantly at the cracked and cobweb riddled ceiling. Dean propped himself up on his elbow, his body ached from the night's passion and his fight with Alistair. Cool fingers found their way to his warm skin and he flinched at the icy touch, Edward's gaze immediately found him. Dean reassured his lover he was fine by placing his lips against his in a soft kiss. The vampire seemed to melt into the kiss, his hard lips and unmoving body seemed to thaw and Dean felt pride swell within. He knew what buttons to push.

The kiss ended when Edward pulled back abruptly and turned his head to the side, his face clouding with distress. Dean felt his heart pound and questions swarmed in his mind but he never got a chance to speak for there was a knock at the door. With a groan of annoyance Dean climbed out from under the covers, threw his clothes on and walked the short distance to the door. He pulled it open a crack to see who was there, but finding Sam he quickly opened it all the way. His irritated little brother stepped passed Dean and into the room before turning back to face him with angry eyes.

"I can explain" Dean said before his brother could start ranting "It's... uh complicated but I" he squared his shoulders and sighed "I can try."

"I don't need you to explain" Sam retorted "I know everything Dean" he threw his arms up in frustration. "I know about the Cullen's, Edward and your secret relationship with him" Dean went rigid, how the hell did he know? "Oh, yeah, and I know that you were going to become a vampire!"

"Sam, calm down."

"Don't tell me to calm down" he shouted "how could you be so willing to become something unnatural, how could you even consider it!?"

"Something unnatural" Dean asked, his voice and face giving no mention of his burning rage "Don't you talk to me about unnatural Sam!" until now "You're the one working with a demon and using your demonic mojo. Oh and you forgot to mention about your powers getting stronger" his face was a mask of pure rage.

"I... I don't know what you're talking about" Sam stuttered, eyes darting to the wall, the table and chairs, anything that was not Dean.

"Yes you do" Dean gripped the front of Sam's hoddie and threw him against the wall "Don't you dare lie to me. Cas told me how you ripped Alistair to shreds like it was nothing."

Sam swallowed his fear "at least I didn't say I wanted to be something supernatural" his nostrils flared with his growing rage. "At least I wouldn't have abandoned my family and watched as they grew old and died."

Dean pushed Sam harder against the wall "you left Sam, you ABANDONED me! I watched you walk out that door and I thought you were never coming back and when I met Edward I knew he would never turn his back on me" Dean let go of Sam and took a step back. "I can't make you understand why I am choosing to do this." His voice dropped to just above a whisper "I don't want to watch you grow old Sammy but I've always put you first and I am not willing to give up Edward."

Sam blinked the tears for him eyes "not even for me?" he was pleading but he didn't want this, _not this_.

Dean stared right into Sam's eyes and the younger Winchester shifted uncomfortably under the piercing gaze. "Not even for you Sam."

**(.............)**

"Dean you can't do this."

Dean looked up from his coffee to find Edward staring down at him with dark eyes, his lips were pursed and he stood rigid. He'd disappeared while Sam and him fought and that was a little over fifteen minutes ago. Sam had stormed off without a word and Dean had felt the heavy weight of his words slam right into him. He shouldn't have spoken to Sam like that; he shouldn't have made Sam feel less important than Edward. It's just Edward was the only person – vampire – who made him feel human. He was the only one who had unfrozen him all the years ago. And to be honest it was Sam and their father's fault that he was frozen, well among other things. But Sam's leaving for college had done it; he had added the last piece of ice to Dean's heart. Then Edward came along and the ice slowly melted and for the first time in his life he found happiness.

He'd apologise to Sam, he decided but he'd still be changed. He abandoned his thoughts and looked up at Edward, his eyes still dark. "Can't do what?" he asked innocently, his coffee mug pressed to his lips.

"Be like me" Edward pulled out a chair and sat down all under a millisecond "I love you Dean" he paused, his perfect teeth bit at his lower lip "but I don't want you to be like me, I don't want you to watch Sam die" he let out a deep sigh. "Can't it just be enough to live a long and happy life with me?"

Dean studied Edward carefully. He knew how to read him (well how to try) his flawless, marble skin made it hard to read his emotions. "Why don't you want me to be like you?" he saw Edward about to reply so he slammed his mug down, hard, the hot liquid spilling onto the table top. "Don't give me that bullshit about you not wanting me to watch Sam die! Give me the real reason Edward or I will get Alice to turn me."

Edward's irises melted to pools of black but his face stayed composed "I don't want you to be a monster" he pronounced the words slowly as though he might miss them if they were said too fast. "I don't want you to be become the hunted" his eyes softened "and most of all I don't want you to lose your soul."

Dean's heart skipped a beat "You have no soul?"

Edward looked down "I... No I don't."

"How do you even know?" Dean asked, his voice barely a whisper.

Edward scrubbed his hands over his face "it's an old tale but it has to be true" he said "why should I get a soul anyway?"

"Because you are a good person" Dean said promptly "and don't worry about me losing my soul. Been there, done that."

"What?" Edward asked his eyes wide with an unreadable emotion.

"Sammy died" Dean picked his mug back up and once again pressed the rim to his lips "so I sold my soul to bring him back" he took a deep drink then lowered the mug. "I got one year and we tried everything. Killing the crossroad demon, spells, looked at every book and under ever stone but we couldn't break the deal" He looked down, Edward's pained expression too much to bear. "We failed" his hands balled into firsts "and I spent forty years – four months up here - in hell" his voice cracked as he spoke. "But I don't remember a thing" he looked back up, his teary eyes meeting Edward's pools of gold. "All I know is I did some bad stuff and now I have to fix it..." he took Edward's hands into his own "but I'm not strong enough... not like this. I don't have the strength without you Edward" he smiled half-heartily. "As soon as I remembered you I felt an overwhelming sense of strength, serenity and hope wash over me." He paused to give Edward a kick peck on the hand. "I can't do this without you."

Edward's perfect lips stretched into a sad smile "I'll turn you on one condition."

"What's that?" Dean asked, hope rising.

"You convince Sam to become a vampire."

**(.............)**

How the fuck did Dean convince Sam to become a vampire? Where did he even start? He couldn't ask Sam for this, not after everything that had been going on between them. Besides, Dean wanted Sam to have a normal life, becoming the un-dead is not normal, not by a long shot. Of course, being a vampire didn't bother Dean the slightest, he was never going to have normal so he might as well do this. Normal and Dean were never going to happen so instead he went with as far from normal as possible. Because what was more un-normal the being the un-dead?

Dean shrugged his shoulders and the thoughts from his mind as he pushed open the glass door to Fork's cafe. The aroma of coffee and foods tinged the air and his stomach rumbled hungrily. He took a sit at the booth up the back, a few feet from the one he had sat at with Jason. He turned his gaze away and surveyed the diner, amazingly, it was still the same. Still homey, filled with families and couples and Julie was still behind the counter.

He heard the sound of shoes against tiled floor and turned to face a pretty girl with black hair that just touched her shoulders and bright green cat-shaped eyes that were fringed with thick black eyelashes. She was slim and curvy with reasonably large breasts and she would be everything that you'd think Dean Winchester would want. Not to have forever, not to even have for a week even but she would be his perfect choice for a one night stand or maybe two nights. She was very keen on him, he could tell, she was smiling and batting her lashes but she didn't seem much to him.

Her pale skin that was lightly dusted with freckles at certain parts was attractive but nothing compared to the endless smooth white marble skin that covered his lover. Her sparkling green eyes were nothing compared to the golden orbs that he could so easily get lost in. He smiled, made his order and she walked away with a disappointed look in her eyes. Something in Dean's mind snapped into place, something that said, _screamed_, 'you didn't stop to think about what he thought'. Dean had not stopped to think about how different he must have looked in his brother's eyes.

Dean had suddenly changed, all in a blink of an eye. One minute he had been the brother Sam knew, the next minute he had disappeared to find his lost lover who just happened to be a vampire. That was a lot to swallow. Not to Dean though, when he woke up he thought he was in Forks, he thought he had been kicked half to death by Jason and he thought he was still with Edward. He didn't have to rethink about anything. There were no thoughts of this not being right and no thoughts that he was losing his mind. All Sam saw was a sudden and swift change and he was left winded and confused and all Dean did was push him away.

Feeling guilt lace itself around him, Dean jumped to his feet, thoughts of food and coffee abandoned. The chilly wind and drops of icy rain seemed to wake Dean from his stupor further. He was an idiot, a fucking idiot. How could he have treated Sam like that? The poor kid must be feeling forgotten. Like Edward replaced him and he was no longer needed or wanted. But it wasn't like that. He still needed Sam; he'd always need his little brother.

Dean drove to the motel he and Sam were staying at, but for the first time ever in different rooms. He parked next to the crap car that Sam had stolen and raced to the door, nearly losing his footing. He rapped on the door and a few moments later a very unwanted face appeared, he glowered at the demon, (wishing he could look as dangerous as Edward) and pushed past her.

Sam looked up from his half eaten breakfast, a flicker of hurt and anger crossed his features but he quickly composed himself. Ruby excused herself and Dean took a seat opposite Sam. They sat in silence for a few minutes as Dean formulated his words. Dean started by apologising and Sam said it was ok but Sam always said it was ok even when it wasn't. So Dean pushed the matter (because it was a Winchester trait, if someone's not spilling their guts you push them until they do.) All Dean got for his effort was a loud squeaking sound as Sam pushed his chair back and that was followed by footsteps heading towards the window.

Dean watched Sam stare out at the frost covered car park. He could picture Sam's face in his mind, his brow creased in thought, lips pursed and eyes unmoving. His tense shoulders suddenly relaxed and he slowly (too slowly) turned to face Dean and his anger had died. Dean swallowed down a bitter taste in his mouth and slowly rose to his feet, still unsure of what to say.

"You just seem like a stranger to me" Sam finally spoke, his voice just audible.

Sam's words struck low but he couldn't blame him for feeling that way. "I know me being with Edward isn't" Dean paused, he felt his stomach do summersaults and bile stung his throat but he swallowed it down. "I know me dating a guy and wanting to be in a serious relationship is new to you and the fact he's a vampire makes it even weirder but-"

"-It's not just that Dean" Sam interrupted brusquely "it's..." his shoulders sagged and he exhaled deeply. "Dean you've been like a stranger to me ever since you got out of hell" he looked away, eyes clouding with sorrow and regret "I lost the Dean I knew the day you were dragged to the pit."

Dean snapped. He didn't scream or throw punches or smash furniture nor did he cry. He ran, collapsed to the floor, before the not-so-white toilet and emptied his last meal into the bowl. He gripped the sides as he cursed God for deciding that people should be able to puke their guts out. Finally the horrid burning acid stopped and he fell backwards into familiar arms. A cup was pressed to his lips and he took a mouthful and spat it out (not caring where it landed.)

His half glazed eyes opened and he breathed deeply before climbing to his feet, trying not to lean on Sam for support. He spared Sam a plaintive look before departing from the room and heading back outside to be greeted by the strong winds.

**(.............)**

The strong breeze swayed the grass at Dean's knees as he crossed the open field in search of the place that was littered with white flowers that looked like snow lying upon the ground. He trudged up the slope, the grass was damp and the drops of water found their way into the tears of his jeans, freezing the exposed skin. He reached the top of the steep slope and let out a deep breath, trudging up this hill had never seemed so hard four years ago. Must be age, he decided, as he descended down the hill to reach the snow white field. He found the place where he and Edward used to come to when the weather was good. He sat down on a semi dry rock and leant against the large tree that towered high into the sky.

The calm Forks breeze caressed his damp skin and clothes, coursing him to shiver. He pulled his limbs closer to his freezing body in attempt to keep warm. Sighing he looked out at the field, watching the flowers dance in the breeze. It was peaceful here. It wasn't like his life, a whirlwind of disasters; it was calm and easy to bear unlike the many battles that had been constantly thrown his way. His life had been one endless battle; he was born a soldier, born to fight in a never-ending war. But he grew weary, he didn't want to fight anymore, didn't want to watch life pass him by. He wanted serenity and most importantly he wanted a life.

A life right here, right here in Forks with the man he loved and lost and the family he had always needed. He needed all of this. The peaceful days, Edward's loving kisses and endless love, Alice's sweet laugh and bubble personality, Emse's mothering, Emmet's jokes, Carlisle's fatherly advice. He needed them all, hell he even needed Rosalie, even if she hated Dean with a passion so strong it could suffocate a person.

He bowed his head, closed his eyes and swallowed hard. He didn't know if he could convince Sam to become a vampire, Sam was already on the path to destruction, he didn't need him to have added strength and speed to top his wacky powers. Sam said he didn't know Dean but Dean didn't know Sam. In those four months (forty years) everything had fallen apart and they were just like two strangers now. But Edward knew Dean, Edward would always know Dean, but Sam, Sam didn't. _Not anymore_. Dean couldn't take it, this life, this job, demons, angels, it was all too much, way to fucking much and he was about to break.

His only escape was to stay here, under the near constant dark skies and towering trees. His home was here. With the man he loved and the family he so desperately needed. Feeling the wind pick up he rose to his feet, ready to head back, when he smelt something. It was sweet. It was the smell that belonged to a vampire. Out of nowhere appeared Alice, with a rug tucked under one arm and a flask in the other hand. Tracking slowly behind her was Rosalie, she didn't look happy but that was nothing new.

"Hey" Alice stopped beside Dean and threw the blanket around his shoulders in one simple fluid movement and pushed him back into a sitting position. "You'll catch your death out here" she took a seat beside him and poured him some steaming coffee. "Here you go" she pressed the cup into his numb hands, avoiding contact so not to freeze them more.

"Thanks Alice" he smiled before sending a sideway glance to Rosalie, who was standing with arms folded and head held high. "How's the wicked vampire of the west?" he grinned when he saw her eyes narrow to slits.

"Dean" Alice's sweet voice had Dean looking away from the blonde vampire "Esme would like you to come for dinner" she hesitated "she wants you to bring Sam as well."

Dean took a long drink from coffee, burning his tongue in the process of avoiding the answer. "Sam and I... aren't really ok at the moment" he tried to smile, like it was just a silly fight but he wasn't fooling anyone. "I'll be there."

"Things will be ok" Alice winked one perfect eye "I see the future remember."

Dean chuckled lightly "what do you see."

"A happily ever after" she jumped up in a blur of colours "seven o'clock. Don't be late."

"I won't" he saluted "scouts honour."

"You really are a fool" Rosalie spat before disappearing into thin air.

"Fuck you too" Dean retorted to the empty space.

"Please bring Sam," Alice pleaded as she stepped backwards avoiding the many roots and sink holes. "Please."

"I'll try" Dean smiled.

"Thank you." And with that Dean was alone again.

**(.............)**

Dean returned to the motel a few hours later, he wasn't sure if Sam would agree to come to dinner at the Cullen's but he would still ask. He was tired of fighting but they were both so different, they really were strangers. And that hurt, it broke Dean's heart to know or rather not know who his little brother was. Dean approached room 15; he bit his lip as he neared. The door burst open and Ruby walked out, her eyes narrowing when she saw Dean. A smug looked crossed her features and she strolled towards Dean, she really was a stupid demon, she should know better than to walk towards a hunter with such confidence.

"Well if it isn't lover boy" she stopped only a foot away from him and her smugness was so strong that you could taste it "If you're coming to see Sam then turn your pretty ass around because he doesn't want to see you."

"You're walking on very thin ice Ruby."

Hey green eyes melted to black "I'm only trying to help you" she stepped closer, her face only mere inches from Dean's "you thick headed pig!"

Dean gripped her shoulder's and pushed her away forcefully "yeah I get it Ruby" he growled "You are only trying to help." He went to push past her but she grabbed his arm and pulled him back to face her. Before she could spin more lies a marble white hand gripped her arm, which held Dean, and pulled her way. She spun to face the intruder with fierce eyes but it faded quickly to fear.

Edward's upper lip turned up in a snarl and he seemed to hiss at the demon and she shrank back. Dean took his place by Edward's side and grinned at the demon, she quickly righted herself.

"Put your pet on a leash Dean" Ruby hissed through her teeth.

Dean's amused expression melted to fury, "go to hell Ruby."

"Haven't we already been there?"

"At least I don't belong there."

"Screw you Dean" Ruby hissed "I wish you stayed rotting in hell!"

Dean felt his fury go beyond words, he wanted to wrap his hands around her pretty little neck and choke the demon right out of her. He wanted to stab her repeatedly with her own knife. He wanted to shoot her with the fucking Colt if only Bela hadn't stolen it. Dean's hands balled into fists, he was going to knock the smugness right out of her. He went to throw the first of many punches but a stone hand wrapped itself around his fist and a velvety voice had is anger waning. He sent daggers at the now empty space. She was gone.

Soft but firm lips against his jaw line had the rest of his anger fading away. Closing his eyes he felt serenity wash over him, all from the gentle lips that whispered over his skin. He remembered the reason for why he was here and even though he was reluctant to move an inch from his lover he had a question to ask. He slowly turned to face the vampire; he looked up at Dean, a serious expression on his face. Like always.

"This morning" Dean licked his top lip just to stall "you just..." he looked away, his gaze going to room 15 "I have to see Sam" he had one of those 'I have something else to say but I won't" smiles. Before Edward could talk – or read his mind – he turned and walked briskly towards Sam's room. He hesitated at the door before knocking, his hands numb from the cold. A groaning whine and the door was open and Sam stood before him.

"I don't want to fight" Dean said promptly "I'm tired of it, I just want..." he sucked in a deep breath "can we just play nice and go do something together." Dean stared at Sam with pleading eyes and his little brother softened under his gaze.

"What do you have in mind?"

A smile lit up Dean's handsome face "dinner with Edward and the rest of the family."

Sam's jaw practically hit the floor "you want to have dinner with vampires? With your.... boyfriend?" he had trouble sayings those words.

"It's nothing compared to the other things we've done, Sammy."

**(.............)**

The glass house was alive with clanking dishes, sizzling steak and chattering voices. The air was rich with the many herbs and spices that were being used in the many dishes to make the perfect 'welcome and welcome back' meals. A – not at all happy – Rosalie and a beaming Alice set the table in such a divine way that Dean didn't want to mess up their masterpiece. Edward led Dean through and away from the busy Cullen's and up to the bedroom Dean hadn't seen in so long.

The room was still the same as it had been four years ago. Though there was one different thing and that was a photo held within a simple silver frame. It was a photo of them. They were somewhere deep within the forest, a backdrop of tall trees and greeny the giveaway. The background, the frame, it was not what caught Dean's attention; it was the happy couple who were staring into each other's eyes, completely oblivious to the world around them.

Dean sank down onto the white settee, his eyes brimmed with tears. He picked up the frame with shaky hands and ran his fingers over the picture. Memories of Forks from four years ago flashed clearly in his mind. He could feel the happiness crackle against his skin as he savoured every forgotten memory. Ice cold hands brushed against his cheeks, leaving goose bumps behind but that did not matter.

Dean pulled Edward into his arms and sat him in the V of his legs, burying his face in the bronze hair that smelt like sugar and spice and everything that was home. Edward shifted so that he was face to face with Dean. He's cold forehead resting against Dean's warm one.

"I'm sorry I let you go Dean" Edward whispered, his breath cold against Dean's lips "I am so sorry my love." He seemed to be forcing back a sob "I loved you enough to let you go. I wanted you to have a normal life" Dean went to speak but Edward's silenced him with a kiss. "I see now that... that you're destiny lies here. You aren't meant for normal" he smiled sadly "I wish you were, I wish you could have normal" he lowered his gaze; it was hard for Dean to see his lover in the pale moonlight. "I tried to stop fate, I tried to give you normal" his face split into a grin "I guess normal just doesn't want you Dean Winchester" another kiss, slow and riddled with never ending love, passion and desire "But I do" he breathed and Dean's heart quickened and jumped. "I'll turn you."

Dean pulled back; making sure this was no joke or dream. "Are you serious?"

"I've thought about this all day long" he said, his voice stronger now "actually, I've thought about ever since I met you" he laughed softly to himself "and I am serious" he smiled wholeheartedly "I will turn you Dean."

**Thanx again Lora for betaing :) **


	4. Chapter 4 My Heart You Can’t Decode

**Chapter IV: My Heart You Can't Decode**

Dean stepped out into the bright hallway. He shut his eyes and lowered his head to shield himself from the bright streams of light that flooded the Cullen house. His eyes adjusted and he took his first step, the smell of dinner luring him closer. He took Edward's hand into his, the icy touch calming. It seemed to take a long time to reach the dining room; each step was slow and heavy. He felt nervous, he could feel the sweat collect at the base of his neck and he hesitated on the last step. He was ridiculously nervous and it took him a few moments to realise why. He was about to announce to the Cullen family _and Sam_ that he was going to become a vampire. It was all happening. After so many years it was finally going to happen. Dean Winchester, one of the greatest hunters, was about to join the un-dead.

What would Sam say? What would he think? Dean felt his thoughts circle, twist and turn and weave into a headache. He forced the roller coaster from his mind and stepped across the threshold and into the dining room. Esme and Carlisle were just placing the food on the large twelve seater table, Rosalie and Emmet were in the distance, she looked pissed but that was nothing new. He searched the room for Alice. She walked in through one of the many doors, Sam, looking well dressed, followed her in. She twirled around to face him, he said something and she laughed. Dean smiled at the sight, someone had caught Sammy's eye. Maybe he didn't have to worry so much about becoming a vampire, because by the look in Sam's eyes, Dean could tell he was spell bound. Just like Dean himself.

Dean led Edward towards Sam. His little brother looked away from the pixie like vampire and turned to face him and his lover. Sam looked stunned at first, his eyes momentarily widening before the return to their normal size. Dean wasn't sure why but he had a feeling that reality had just hit Sam full force in the face. This was true. Dean was dating a vampire and Sam had known but now he could see it. The eyes never lie.

"Sammy" Dean said in the most casual manner he could "This is Edward."

"It's a pleasure to finally meet you" Edward said first, holding his hand out.

"Yeah, ah, same" Sam shook his hand and did his best not to flinch at the sudden chill. He scratched behind his ear, a nervous habit he picked up from Dean. He wasn't sure of what to say, though neither was Dean. This was different. He'd never introduced Sam to a lover and if Sam had thought about it happening he would have most likely imagined a woman not a male vampire. "Uh... so what do you do for a living?" he asked, and he sounded so unsure "I... have no idea what you would do with so much time."

Edward smiled formally "I have a part time job at the local bookshop and I'm going away soon to college, or rather that's what everyone thinks I'm going."

"So where are you really going?" Sam asked, his interest spiked "Ruby said Strigoi have to stay out of the sun" he suddenly shifted from foot to foot, the weight of Dean's piercing gaze too heavy. "She knows a little about this stuff."

Edward sent Dean a glance that said 'she knows too much to be trusted'. "I'm not sure, I think wherever Dean wants to go is fine with me."

Dean looked from Sam to Edward, who was obviously very serious about letting Dean choose their destination "wow" he grinned, trying to ease the tension "I'll have to think about it" he didn't mean to, he wasn't sure he should of, but he closed the distance between himself and Edward and kissed him tenderly and when he re-surfed Sam was gone.

"How did Sam find you here?" Edward asked in an earnest tone.

"I haven't asked" Dean replied "why?"

"Dean..." he sighed and Dean excepted to see his shoulders sag but he stayed motionless "Ruby's a demon."

"Yeah I know that" he pulled Edward away from the crowded room and stepped out into the chilly night "She's 'helping' us or so she says" Dean shook his head; demons don't help people they kill people. "She looked after Sam while I was in hell so-"

"-You can't trust her just because she's playing nice" Edward interrupted "demons lie and scheme" he suddenly looked away, his golden eyes of bliss searching the night sky for unknown answers. "Last year, strange things started to happen, supernatural things. I remember everything you told me about the supernatural and I recognised the signs and that's how I knew it was a demon" he looked back now. "I hunted it down, caught it in a devil's trap and before I could kill it/he started talking. He knew about us..." he paused "he also told me Sam was meant to lead some demon army."

Dean shifted his weight and took in a gulp of freezing night air "I've heard it to."

"Dean..." Edward looked troubled. Dean could tell he didn't want to say this and he wasn't sure he wanted to hear it. Before Edward could speak the glass door slid open and Alice poked her head out.

"Sorry. Hope I'm not interrupting anything" she said and if she could she'd most likely be blushing "but dinner's ready."

"Thanks Alice" Edward smiled half-heartedly "we'll be in a sec."

She nodded before disappearing into the house. Dean turned his attention back to Edward, he was motionless and his expression unreadable but a hint of troubled thoughts could be detected in his now darker eyes. "Shall we eat... or shall I eat" he laughed, trying to ease the tension that clung to the air.

Edward's stone features relaxed and his lips curved into a small smile and without a word they headed inside to the warmth.

**(.............)**

The chattering voice and musical laughter lit up the Cullen house like lights on a Christmas tree. The house had been shadowed in sorrow and pain for such a long time but the return of Dean had brought cheer and endless smiles. All the pain, all the sorrow had been forgotten as they sat around the large table and shared their many stories. As time moved on, Edward sent Dean a quick glance before rising to his feet. Dean had forgotten how beautiful the simple act had been. All eyes went to him, including Sam (who hadn't stopped smiling all night.) Edward's hand came to rest on Dean's shoulder, the coolness seeping through his leather jacket.

"I have something to say" Edward spoke, voice as clear as a bell "I'm going to turn Dean" the Cullen's face's lit up "so" he turned to face Dean, his golden eyes sparkling "welcome to the family my love." He lifted Dean's hand to his lips and kissed it softly and mouthed I love you and Dean thought the same.

"It's about time" Alice said jumping to her feet in one fluent bound and started to clap.

Everyone, expect two, joined in on the applause.

**(.............)**

Sam slammed the motel door shut with such force that one of the paintings fell from its hook and smashed onto the motel room floor. He glared at the broken object like it was the reason for all his problems. He looked away and nearly walking right into Ruby. He pushed her aside roughly and stormed passed, heading to the kitchen in search of a drink. A strong one. Finding his flask of whiskey he downed the small amount that was left, ignoring the burn. He slowly turned to face Ruby; she was searching his eyes for the answer to his rage.

"It's Dean" he breathed.

"What did he do?" she asked causally.

"He's about to become a fucking vampire that's what he is going to do!" Sam shouted, making the demon jump in surprise. "How can he do this? How can he just give up everything for one person? How can he happily become a vampire when he knows he will live forever and I will one day die?"

Ruby sighed heavily "Sam... Dean's weak... he's scared. He isn't a fighter like you, becoming a vampire is like a security blanket for him but you are so much stronger" she closed the distance between them. She traced Sam's distinct jaw line with her thin fingers "you're not afraid to die Sam... Dean is."

Sam turned away from Ruby "What if I don't die defeating Lillith? I don't want to grow old while Dean stays young forever."

"But you'll have me" she was before him again, smiling at him "I'll always be here Sam. I won't leave you for a lover; I won't leave you for anything or anyone. I will be by your side when you kill Lillith and beyond that."

"Do you promise?" Sam asked hoarsely

"I promise baby."

**(.............)**

The way Edward felt was amazing, his skin was always cold and firm but it was like touching silk, perfect marble white silk. The next thing that was amazing was his smell, it was sweet and spicy, the third thing on the list were his eyes, they were Dean's golden pools of bliss. Everything about the young vampire was perfect. The way his body moulded against Dean's, the way their lips melted together.

Dean's lips glided over Edward's firm cold ones, their bare chests pressed together and their legs entwined. Dean's hand snuck its way into Edward's unruly brown locks and tugged his head back, exposing his snow white neck. Dean grinned at his lover before pressing a kiss just below his earlobe. He nipped, bit, kissed and sucked his way down to Edward's pronounced collar bone.

Biting Edward was sort of like biting a brick that was really cold but tasted sweet. It was rather annoying that Dean couldn't leave marks on his lover but he could sure make Edward moan. He always knew how to be one hell of a tease. Abandoning his task at sucking and biting his caller bone Dean descended, a devilish grin on his face that the vampire could not see. His kiss swollen lips lead a trail all the way down to the waistband of Edward's jeans, his aching erection just beckoning for the hunter's sinful touch. Dean's callused fingers ran teasingly over Edward's shaft, a soft moan escaping the vampire's throat.

"Is this punishment for letting you go?" Edward asked in audible whisper.

Dean bowed his head and nipped at Edward's erection through the fabric "It sure is."

"Bastard."

Dean chuckled before gripping the zipper between his teeth and slowly, ever so slowly pulling it down. He had to use his hands to undo the button (he hadn't mastered that yet) His hot breath sunk through the fabric of Edward's underwear and another moan ripped from the vampires throat. Dean crawled back up towards Edward, catching him off guard with a fiery kiss. Dean's tongues left its own mouth to wrestle with Edward's and explore the sweet cavern. The kiss ended when Edward pulled back, his golden eyes shimmering with lust, his smile bright enough to light up the world. He gently caressed Dean's check, his touch leaving goose bumps.

"I love you Dean."

"I love you too" lips met and the invisible flames danced over their bodies "and don't you ever forget."

Edward's red lips stretched to create the perfect grin "I won't" his icy hands stroked Dean's cheek "I'll have you forever and beyond Dean... don't you forget that."

Dean's devilish grin melted into a tender smile and all thoughts of teasing the vampire almost vanished but the old Dean was still in here. He kissed his lover one last time, full and sweet on the mouth then descended again, evil intentions ahead.

**(.............)**

Edward was withering beneath Dean. If he were human he'd be soaked with sweat, panting heavily and his voice would be hoarse from all the screaming. Alas, he was not human so no matter what he would not sweat or pant and his voice would not crack. Dean's mouth left Edward's member with a wet pop and the vampire mumbled something that didn't make sense. He crawled up to his lover's face, kissing him passionately before rolling over to shed himself of his jeans. His own aching erection needed some attention and vampire's could go all night but Dean couldn't. He needed to feel himself inside Edward and he'd made him beg enough.

Now fully naked Dean rolled on top of his lover, who already had his fingers slicked with lube. Edward mirrored Dean's earlier devilish grin and let his hand wonder down his taut chest before stopping just at the patch of hair between his legs. Dean moaned at the touch, the coolness chasing away the heat and drying the sweat. The cold fingers on Dean's member had him throwing his head back and crying out for the world to hear. One touch and he nearly lost it.

"Damn you" he growled with a playful smirk.

Edward mirrored his expression before wrapping his hand around Dean's throbbing cock. He let out a low moan, trying to hold back but Edward's icy touch was maddening. He freed his member from the icy hold and positioned himself at Edward's entrance. He forced himself to enter slowly, he wasn't sure if it would even hurt him if he went fast but he didn't feel like testing that. He rocked his hips in a steady rhythm, slowly increasing the tempo with Edward's encouraging moans.

It felt so right to be doing this. Their bodies moulded together just right, like they had been carved by the God's who had intended for them to be together. Once if you told Dean had been with a vampire he probably would have decked you but now, in the midst of their undying love, he knew he could never deny it. This, _them_, they were meant to be. It was written in destiny somewhere, the hunter and the vampire, it would say, are meant to be.

**(.............)**

Dean didn't wake until midday.

The bright sun seeped through the tacky curtains, chasing away the shadows and the gloomy feeling that Forks seemed to have. He slowly sat up; he felt his stomach churn as bile stung his throat. He closed his eyes as he focused on something else, trying to avoid throwing up on an empty stomach. He felt a cold hand touch his brow and his eyes snapped open. Before him was Edward, his bare chest, face and arms sparkling like millions of diamonds. All thoughts of being sick were forgotten as a beaming smile graced Dean's face. God he'd missed the sight of Edward.

Dean's smile faded and his gone mood vanished as he took in Edward's series express. Dean exhaled a sigh, lent forwards and kissed him softly on the lips then sat back, the sheets just covering his nudity. "What's wrong?"

"It's Sam" Edward didn't look away, he kept his eyes locked with Dean's "I can smell demons Dean, the smell like rotting corpse, that's how I knew Ruby was a demon-"

"-What's this got to do with Sam?" Dean interrupted briskly.

"Sam smells the same to me Dean" Edward replied promptly "I can't read his thoughts and you know I can read everyone's."

Dean scrubbed his hands over his face "Sam has demon blood in him" he mumbled into his hands before dropping them to the bed, his face a mask of annoyance "I don't want to talk about Sam, ok. He's fine… he's not using his demons powers so I don't see why I have to worry about him" his voice cracked.

"Dean I know you trust Sam, he is your brother" Edward's cold hands found Dean's clenched ones "but I fear he is keeping something from you… I just get this feeling-"

"-Sam's fine, Edward" he snapped bitterly before jumping out of the bed and going in search of clothes "he's just fucking peachy." Dean stormed around the room, throwing his clothes on as he went. "I'm going to get some food" he said asked he was finally dressed.

Edward, still as the world's most beautiful statue, nodded briefly, knowing it was best to let Dean cool off.

Dean walked to the door only to stop and half turn around "I love you." He opened the door and stepped out into the chilly wind. He glanced up at the sky, the clouds had already crept in and where shadowing the land below in darkness. Dean looked away from the sky with a weary sigh and made his way towards the exit; he felt like walking to the diner, it wasn't far anyway. The streets were empty, no cars and no people and the only noise was from his feet touching the ground. It seemed odd that everything was so silent, Forks may not be big but it was never like this. A chilly breeze swept through the trees and caressed Dean's skin and swayed his hair

"Hello" hid voice echoed loudly in the silence "Edward?"

"Guess again Dean."

Dean turned around, ready to fight, but lowered his guard when he saw Castile "what the fuck is wrong with you?" he demanded, ignoring the grimace on the angels face at the curse "you trying to scare me to death?"

"I've come to see you… about Edward."

Dean rolled his eyes "I don't want to hear it Cas!"

"Dean, wait, please" Castiel stepped closer to Dean, his arm out stretched as though he was going to grab a hold of him "This isn't what you think."

"Then what is it?" he demanded.

"I'm only here to remind you not to forget your duty" he looked down, like he was ashamed "you opened the first seal" he looked up now, his eyes dark and unreadable "you must stop Lillith from breaking the final one. You can't get sidetracked by your lover."

"I will!" Dean snapped "as soon as you know where the hell she is! And once you do then you can let me know and I'll finish her off."

Castiel crocked his head to the side and he looked like a child "As a human or a vampire?"

Dean scowled at the angel "however I see fit!"

**(.............)**

Dean slumped down into the booth and let out a deep sigh. His head was spinning and alive with worries and questions. Dean knew something was off with Sam; he seemed to on edge, so jumpy. It was nothing like Sam; he was always calm and composed. He just chose to ignore it, he kept telling himself that Sam was fine and that _he_ was fine and that everything would be fucking fine. Everything was crashing down around Dean. His brother was changing, becoming something unrecognisable to Dean and the end of the world loomed over him like a dark cloud. He was the reason that the world was faced with the apocalypse and apparently he was the meant to stop it. How could one man stop the end of the world?

He couldn't… but an immortal could. The only way he could see himself saving the world and killing Lillith was to become a vampire. He'd have strength, he'd have speed, he'd be damn near impossible to kill. He closed his eyes; he could almost feel the burn of the liquid fire scorch his insides at the mere thought of turning. But he had suffered worse in hell, suffered pains beyond belief. Only he didn't remember it… he just knew he had. He was grateful not to have the haunting memories of his time in the pit but he was still haunted by the knowledge of what had been done to him and what he had done to those people. He had no recollection of what he had done to those dammed souls but every time he found himself alone, shadowed in silence, he could hear ear piercing screams.

Behind the darkness of his lids something bright and unclear danced before his eyes. In alarm he reopened them and gasped in shock. He shuddered as a cold draft of air rifled his hair and seeped through his clothes. Before he could continue on his train of thoughts and ponder over the strange light behind his eyes Sam appeared before him. Pale from the cold and a half hearted smile on his face. They seemed to stay trapped in an awkward silence until Sam called for two coffees and took a seat opposite Dean.

"Uh… so…" Sam shifted in his seat, fiddled with the zipper on his jacket before running his hands through his hair and finally settled playing with the saltshaker. "You're going to become a…" he looked up at Dean, hoping that he'd just say the word and save him the trouble. Dean stayed silent. "Are you sure about this?" he asked, sending the saltshaker onto the floor.

Dean bent down, collected the saltshaker then took a sip from the coffee, which was just placed on the table, before turning to Sam. "I'm sure" he pulled one of his famous grins before sipping the hot liquid, savouring its rich flavour.

A flicker of rage flared in Sam's eyes "what about me?"

Dean set the cup aside, his trademark grin gone "I won't bite" well momentarily anyway.

Sam's jaw flexed and his knuckles turned white as his hold tightened around the cup "That's not funny" each word was tainted with bitterness "you tell me not to use my powers, you tell me what I am, is a freak" Dean went to interrupt but was silenced with a death glare. "You hate the supernatural world Dean, you've killed every supernatural thing you've found since you started hunting and you enjoyed it! Now, _now_ you want to sign up and become a vampire? It's so hypocritical of you; it's so selfish of you."

"Enough" Dean hissed, struggling just to keep his rage under control. "Sam, there is a difference between vampires and demons" Sam went to protest but was silenced by Dean's own death glare. "I've been to hell, I know that demons are twisted and warped and their humanity is burned away by the torture and the torment of hell and when the crawl out there are nothing but evil… pure evil. Vampires are different. They don't ask for it, but they remember what it's like to be human. They can control their urges and don't need to kill and bring pain to others just to make themselves happy. They aren't made by pent up pain and fear and rage, they are just given a second a chance at life."

"So this is your second chance?" Sam asked sullenly.

"This is my chance at happiness Sammy" pushing down his anger he forced a small smile, "this is my chance to have a normal life… after everything… after all the pain and the loss I want this, I'm ready for this. You can have this life too Sam."

Sam looked away, his brow creasing as it does every time he thinks intently "I have to stop Lillith."

"Cas says I'm meant to stop Lillith" Dean said into his cup.

"He's wrong."

"Why?" Dean's tone screamed dangerous "because I'm weak? Because I'm too busy pining about what I did in hell? Because I'm not as good as you?"

Sam didn't look at Dean, he didn't utter another word. He just left, like he always did.

**(.............)**

Sam stormed through the streets of Forks, the icy wind cold against his skin and the rage deep inside burning hot. Who did Dean think he was? He couldn't defeat Lillith, hell, he knew that! That's why he was going to become a vampire, a fucking vampire. He was too weak to do this a human so he had to join the ranks of the un-dead. And he thought, _he thought_ Sam using demonic powers was bad, he had no choice, the blood was in him and it could never come out. Dean had a choice and he chose this path. But why had Edward suddenly decided to turn him? At dinner last night Alice had said he'd been unwilling to do so. Why? Sam did not know, but he was going to find out.

He pushed open the heavy glass door and walked into the old bookshop. He didn't need to scan the room or survey his surroundings; he could see Edward as plain as day. Sam made his way to the young vampire; he stood before a towering shelf of books. Sam drew closer and he looked up sharply, his iris black as night. He placed the books onto the shelf before walking towards him, each step like a dance.

"Why'd you change your mind?" Sam demanded, feeling slightly intimidated by the vampire.

"Because I had to" he kept his voice low and no hints of anger seeped into his tone.

Sam shifted his weight and narrowed his eyes "that's not a real answer."

Edward looked around him then back at Sam "Alice saw Dean dying."

Sam took a step back "we can change the outcome, we don't have to change Dean" he spoke after the shockwaves settled.

"I thought about every possible way to save Dean, but death is inevitable. If we save him this time he will only find himself facing death again and I can't loss him. Not now that I have him back. He is my life."

"What about me?" Sam retorted "I have to live without him."

Edward shook his head "He will be the one living without you Sam" Edward took a step back "I'm not changing my mind, I promised Dean. I'm sorry Sam."

"Don't tell me you're sorry" he stepped forwards and grabbed Edward by the caller of his shirt and went to throw him against the bookshelfs but it was like trying to move stone "you're taking him from me."

Edward easily broke free of the grip "I'm only doing what I believe is right."


	5. Chapter 5 Of All The Things

**Chapter V: Of All The Things**

The rain never seems to stop; the sky seems to be forever dark and the weather is just as bleak as Dean's mood. With his head stuck in a toilet bowl and no word from Sam in a few days he was feeling pretty dull, or maybe that was just a nice way to put it. With a low growl of frustration Dean emptied more of his stomach into the bowl; oh this was so fucking fun. He was finally back with Edward, after four years, four fucking years and all he had been able to do for the last few days was puke and puke then puke some more. It was ridiculously. It was like he was pregnant or something. Because this wasn't going away. Kind of like the rain.

He heaved himself back up, legs stiff and achy from being placed in an odd positioned by the toilet for minutes or hours, God he needed this sickness to go away. It was keeping him from Edward and to accompany the endless puking was lust. Only it was hard to make love to your boyfriend while throwing up. Dean collapsed onto the springy motel bed and heaved a sigh, it was silent, the rain had ceased. Dean drank in the silence, no pounding rain, no roaring thunder, no screaming thoughts jus… the sound of wings? His green orbs snapped open and before him in all his might was Castiel, standing motionless just as Edward did. Dean just glared at the angel, what did he want now?

"Are we gonna having a staring competition all day or do you have something to say?" Dean grumbled after a few moments of silence "and it better not be about Edward."

"It's not" he said, shifting his weight from foot to foot and Dean realised he looked nervous "where is your lover?"

"Hunting" he said simply. "Can you do something for me?"

"What is it you wish to ask?" God Dean hated the way they liked to complicate such a simple sentence.

"I can't stop puking, can you fix that?"

Castiel looked away "I am afraid I cannot take this illness from you" Dean's brow furrowed and he shot daggers at the angels as soon he looked back "for this is not an illness."

"Enough with the crypticzem" Castiel gave Dean an odd look which he waved his hand at then muttered 'just making up words' before asking "then what is wrong with me?"

Castiel walked towards Dean and took a seat beside him, his movement graceful but not as fluent as Edward's "Dean, how much are you willing to believe?"

"I can believe a lot."

Castiel nodded then looked down at his hand, which were folded in his lap "Dean…" he looked back up "Dean, you are with child."

Dean would have laughed, he would have told Castiel he was mental, crazy, or something but it actually made a lot sense and that scared Dean more than anything else. Which is why he assumed a moment later that Cas was joking and this was some angel April fools thing or something, but he couldn't be pregnant. "Men don't have babies Cas" he practically screeched "we don't have vaginas, wombs or any of that shit you need to carry a baby! Sperm and sperm don't make babies happen" Dean was now pacing the room, each foot hitting the ground as hard as the roaring thunder that had returned. "I am a guy Cas, I have a boyfriend and it is impossible for men to get pregnant!"

"Nothing's impossible" the angel stated "at least not in your life Dean."

**(…………) **

"Positive, positive, positive, positive again" Dean watched as Alice gracefully threw the pregnancy tests over shoulder and into the bathroom waste bin "positive, positive," she added the last two to the bin before exhaling a loud sigh. Dean pretty much had the picture after the first or second positive but Alice wanted to check again and again and so on. But hey, he couldn't blame her, because men don't get pregnant. Well not the normal ones, the ones that don't date vampires, hunt demons, go to hell and hang with angels. Dean did all that and that must have given someone the right to allow him to fall pregnant. "I'm gonna be an aunt" Alice suddenly said, her singsong voice too loud for Dean's pounding head to "I've always wanted to be an aunt."

Dean couldn't help but smile at the pixie-like vampire, though he didn't see the situation as up lifting and as exciting as she did. As if sensing this, Alice disappeared in a blur only to reappear by Dean's side, a soft smile gracing her delicate features. "This isn't normal, this is unheard of actually but it's a blessing" she chimed "You're going to become a vampire anytime now and we can't have kids, so it's a miracle."

Dean offered her a tight lipped smile, he wasn't sure a miracle was the right word for this. He didn't believe in them really but he hadn't believed in angels so maybe it could be a miracle. Or maybe it wasn't. It could be the work of demons? Though Castiel said it was the angels who had made this possible. Ugh, his head was spinning and he felt sick and oh he was pregnant. Best not add more worries to his list.

"I should tell Carlisle" Alice announced suddenly as she jumped to feet "you need to tell Edward."

Dean sighed and ground the palms of his hands into his eyes "what the hell am I meant to say to him?" his hands dropped lifeless to his sides and he sighed heavily.

"Uh…" Alice was lost for words, and Alice was never, _ever_ lost for words.

"That's what I thought" Dean grinned half heartedly up at her.

"Well maybe you should start with Sam" she hedged.

"We're not on speaking terms" was he grumbled reply.

Alice sighed again before gracefully sitting back down beside him "Sam's your brother Dean, I can tell you mean the world to him, so it's expected of him to be a little… stunned that you are going to become a vampire."

Dean huffed "he can't lecture me about being something supernatural when he's BFFs with a demon and was using demonic powers."

"I could always get _that_ demon out of the way."

Dean smiled at the girl who he gladly called family "that sneaky bitch is hard to get a hold of."

"I'm very sneaky too."

Dean couldn't help but laugh at this and in this short sweet moment all his troubles were forgotten.

**(…………) **

"Sam I just rang to…" Dean leant back against the cool wall and took a deep breath "to see how you are. I haven't heard from you in awhile and…" oh how did he say this? 'Sam, Edward knocked me up.' Or 'hey Sammy, guess what? You're gonna be an uncle' oh it was all so crazy. "I'm sorry that… you know, things have been weird" he paused as a wave of nausea swept over him. He held onto his breakfast and continued "Ok, weirder than normal, we are weird" he laughed but it sounded out of place. "Ok Sam, just… call me ok… I… call ok." He ended the call and dropped the phone onto the table. How hard was it to say 'I'm pregnant'? Well, very hard, when he was in fact a man.

"It's not that crazy Dean."

The hunter jumped in surprise before turning to face an angel, one he was not found of "oh hiya Zach" maybe teasing an angel would brighten his day.

"That's Zachariah to you" he corrected "so how's the daddy-to-be? Your child has a very important role to play here; you should feel privileged to be carrying such an amazing being."

Dean stiffened at his words, an important role? Why did that worry him so? "If you think I'm letting you near my child then you're poorly mistaken." His child? This thing inside of him was his, was Edwards, it was _their_ baby. Something hit Dean. This was real and it was amazing. This baby was a little Edward and that both thrilled and scared him.

"Aw and here I was hoping to be the godfather" he laughed but it seemed malice, what was he after?

"Stay away from me" Dean pulled himself away from the wall "and stay away from Edward."

He laughed again and Dean wanted to knock the laughter right out of him "I'm not the bad guy Dean" he said "you trust vampires so why can't you trust angels?" Dean regarded him carefully. He'd never liked Zach but today that feeling was stronger. Something was being planned and he knew he wouldn't like it. "Now, I came here for a reason."

"Which is?" he asked composed, pushing aside his strange fear of the heavenly being.

"Sam's causing some problems" he replied nonchalantly "he's using his powers and with him working with a demon in all, well we fear he is working for the other side."

"He's not" Dean snapped.

"Well," a cruel smile crossed the angels aging face "either you restrain him or we will."

Dean rolled his eyes. "C'mon! Sam's stopping seals from breaking and Ruby, curse her to hell, is helping him" since when did he defend her? And since when was Sam just stopping seals from breaking? He was walking down a dangerous rode and here Dean was acting like his brother wasn't any different. He was using demonic powers to kill demons. He wasn't fine; he was going fucking dark side. "Ok, just go away!"

The angel stared at Dean with concern? "I hope you're strong enough to carry this child."

Dean glared at Zachariah, he wasn't concerned for Dean but for his baby. Why was it so important? What could angels want with a half vampire child? "Do you know where Sam is?" he wanted to avoid any more talk about his baby. A terrible feeling was settling in his gut and he just wanted this dick gone and Edward to return.

"Jackson" he replied "go and bring him back, please" there was no kindness to his please.

It was all just a command.

**(…………) **

"Dean, you need to calm down" Edward said from the passenger seat "or at least let me drive."

"I'm fine" Dean snapped back, hands tightening around the steering wheel. He was driving to Jackson in the middle of the night and he was going to drag Sam back to Forks whether he liked it or not. Sam had to stop what he was doing, he had to stop with the demon mojo and he had to stop with the demon friendship. He had to snap out of this, whatever this was, and be Sam again. He had to, no; he needed to. He needed to go back to being the kind caring guy Dean knew. The one that asked questions first then did some shooting. When did they switch roles? Why was Dean the one to think things over? Well some of the times.

Dean shook his head, he could see Edward's piercing gaze in the corner of his eye. He probably should tell Edward about the baby but the whole situation still felt surreal. He knew it was true he just hadn't grasped the fact it was happening to him. Though, when Zachariah was talking, saying how important this child was, he felt, for that moment, like it was all real. Well it was real, the nausea and the mood swings were proof of that. But he had grasped it when Zach was talking. He'd felt a strong need to protect the baby come over him. It was a part of him and a part of Edward and every time he thought that, he accepted it; like it wasn't so crazy after all.

"Dean" Edward's smooth voice had Dean snapping out of his thoughts "are you ok? You look pale."

He cast a quick glance at the revision mirror, oh God he was pale. "I'm fine. We gotta get Sam."

"The angels really said they'd stop him if you didn't?" he asked skeptic, clearly Edward had envisioned angels with fluffy wings.

"They're not the cute fluffy wing type" he replied, hands still gripping the wheel too tight "they get an order, they carry it out."

Edward didn't answer but Dean could see he was now lost in thought. Feeling the heavy weight of the silence Dean turned up the volume, the sound of Led Zeppelin easing the tension. Not that he ever felt tension between himself and Edward, usually while he was with his pale skinned lover it was peaceful. It must be Sam, he decided. He was overstressed and the presence of his lover just didn't calm him enough. But it had always calmed him. The sweet smell of his skin, the sound of his voice, his icy touch had always been enough to make Dean fall into a serene bliss. Maybe it wasn't Sam. Maybe it was the fact he was keeping a secret.

He really should tell him. He had to know, because in nine months there'd be baby and that wasn't something you could just hide. Not to mention, Dean had a feeling he didn't exactly have nine months. If he calculated it right the first time he and Edward had sex was a little over a week ago and he was already suffering morning sickness. He definitely didn't have nine months to prepare for this. He had no idea how long he had and that was terrifying. He needed support, and not just Alice, who was going to tell Carlisle and try and figure out how this happened. Ok, it was obvious how this happened and he also knew how he got pregnant. Angels. Castile had made this possible and that made Zachariah's words all the more worrying. They wanted this. He just didn't know why.

"Edward" he had to tell him and hey, they had a long journey ahead of them "I have to tell you something."

**(…………) **

It was six thirty in the morning and Sam hadn't slept all night and he was thirsty. Ruby was, well Ruby somewhere and he was out; he needed his fix. He'd spent the last few days sending demons back to hell (only after he got his information, of course) and his body was screaming for more demon blood. He knew it was wrong, he knew Dean would go of the rails if he were to find out but now, _now_ if Dean knew it seemed he had no right to be angry. Since he was about to become a vampire and drink blood for the rest of his life or eternity, whatever, point was Dean would have no right to say it was wrong or call him a freak. Besides, he was only doing this to save the world, not for kicks or love.

Love only ended badly for the Winchester's. They were cursed to wander this earth alone. Love only led to heartache. It would never work. Dean thought he and Edward could have forever but Sam knew better. The Winchester curse would separate them again, hadn't it already? He shook his head, he didn't need to worry about this, what he did need to worry about was Lillith. He had to get more demon blood so he could hunt done more demons and find her. She was breaking seals and the angels weren't doing a damn thing about it. So it was up to Sam and Ruby. They had to find her and stop her from setting Lucifer free.

"Sam"

Sam spun around to face Ruby, looking aghast and shaken. She'd been lurking around what she called the 'underworld' for a hint or whisper of Lillith. As far as they knew, Lillith was working with a few demons, for what, they didn't know. Which is why Ruby had been lurking around and by the looks of it she had to fight off a few demons that had seen her or perhaps she'd been interrogating them? "Ruby, what's wrong?"

"I heard something" she started to pace, "it sounds crazy but it's what I heard" she stopped before Sam and stared up at him, her breathing shallow. "You are gonna think I am insane" she threw her arms out to emphasis her words.

"Ruby" Sam gripped her shoulders and shook her "what the hell are you on about?"

"The demons are talking about" she bit her lip "about a baby…"

"Who's baby?"

"Dean's baby."

"Dean doesn't have a baby Ruby!" Sam exclaimed, though he was sure there were many Dean's in the world he just assumed she meant his brother, who did not have a baby. Right?

"Well not yet" Ruby seemed composed now "he's pregnant."

Sam laughed, which was rare but, hey it was a good joke. She'd been all serious then sprung this on him, who said demons were just pure evil? "That's a great joke Ruby" Sam said between bouts of laughter.

"I am not joking" she snapped, her eyes flashing black "Dean is carrying a very important child and from what I heard, Lillith wants it."

Sam had stopped laughing as soon he saw the demons eyes flash black. He should probably ask how Dean was pregnant but he was too busy already trying to understand why Lillith would want Dean's baby. What could she gain by having a half immortal child? "You have to find out why she wants it" Sam ordered as he started to pace.

"I'll do my best" she said looking down at the stained carpet "you need more."

Sam stopped pacing, all thoughts now of demon blood "yeah, I know" he sighed heavily as he turned around to face the demon "I just-"

"-Shut up" Ruby interrupted "don't go on about how it is wrong. I. Don't. Care. What I do care about is you stopping Lillith before she destroys the world, now this means drinking demon blood, and yeah, it's wrong to you, but toughen up.

Sam gaped at the demon "Lillith is getting closer, isn't she?"

"Yes" she sighed "thankfully, you're brother is knocked up and she's stopped breaking seals until she gets her hands on the baby."

"How did Dean even get…?"

"As far as I know the angels made it possible" she sat down on the table and gazed heavenward "why, I don't know. But this baby is important and both sides want it bad."

**(…………) **

"You're pregnant" Edward exclaimed.

"Yes" Dean replied wearily. Telling Edward he was pregnant was the hardest thing he had ever had to do and he only thanked God he didn't laugh. He'd gone perfectly still and Dean had suffered in silence for a few moments before his outburst. He didn't expect that of Edward, he was always composed and collect, but sometimes composure can't be found.

"How is this even possible?"

Dean sighed "Ask the angels."

"The angels did this?" he seemed surprised and Dean could tell he was growing dubious of the heavenly beings.

"They did something."

"Something that made it possible to get pregnant, with a vampire's child" Edward, for someone as perfect as perfect, looked on the brink of a nervous breakdown. "Dean, there are legends of women having vampire children and they end badly! The pregnancy is a nightmare and the birth always ends with the mother dying."

"Well when I am about to die you bite me, ok" he said with a tired grin, one that didn't quiet reach his eyes.

"Dean" he sighed and he sounded as tired as Dean felt "this is my fault."

"It takes two to tango" Dean quipped.

"Is everything a joke to you?"

He didn't answer this. "Everything will be ok."

"This must be what Alice saw" he murmured.

"What do you mean?" Dean asked, eyes darting from the road to Edward "did she see this coming?"

"She saw you dying" he confessed, staring out at the never ending road "that's why I said I'd turn you. I wasn't going to. I was hoping you'd see that Sam needed you human and you'd change your mind but when… when Alice told me I knew I had no choice" Dean wasn't sure whether to be angry or grateful and Edward seemed to pick up on this. "I'm sorry" he looked at Dean levelly "I lied to you, I still don't want you to be a vampire but I can't live without you and death seems to walk in your shadow."

Dean pulled over to the curb and killed the engine before rounding on his lover "I don't like being lied to but you said you would change me and you can't go back on your word. So after I give birth," boy did that sound weird "you can change me, deal?" he stuck out his hand for Edward to shake but he looked reluctant.

"I can't live without you" he whispered "this thing inside you could kill you before I can turn you" he looked down at the floor "I could kill you."

"You won't" Dean scooted closer to Edward and lowered his face so his lips could brush against his lover's icy cheek "I know you won't. You've tasted my blood before and pulled away, you can do it again. For the baby?" he couldn't believe he just said that but now that Edward knew it felt real. _It felt right._

Edward looked up, a small smile on his face "Yeah, for the baby."

**I completely forgot that Dean hadn't meet ****Zachariah**** yet but we can pretend he has. PS reviews make my day :) **


	6. Chapter 6 Baby Blues

**Went and saw New Moon today yay! It was pretty good I must say but could have done with some Dean lol**

**Chapter VI: Baby Blues**

Dean wasn't sure about this. Ever since he crossed the threshold he'd had a bad vibe. Just driving up to the house had him feeling anxious, which, for Dean, was something rare. He was always ready for anything. He could take on the world at any given moment but right now he felt vulnerable and unsure of his surroundings. Maybe the spooky house had something to do with it and, ok, spooky didn't cover it. This house screamed devil worship it also screamed psychopath killer or poor possessed bastard. Dean abandoned his thoughts and took in his surroundings. The paint was chipping off the walls, blood stained the floorboards and the house reeked of death. Why did he agree to come here?

He suddenly stopped. Why did he agree to come here? Actually, where was here? He sniffed the air and decided that maybe he drank too much last night. Now, he had a demon to find and kill then he could get some much needed fresh air. He rounded a corner and entered the living and that's when the stanch of death hit him full force. He quickly covered his mouth and nose with his free hand before surveying the room.

Mangled bodies littered the floor, rotting flesh crawling with maggots lay seeping its fluids into the already-soaked carpet. Dead eyes stared up at Dean from their sunken sockets. It was such a horrible sight, which is why Dean wondered why a beautiful dark haired, pale skinned, green eyed girl sat amongst it all. She looked up at Dean with her big bright green eyes and she smiled. Everything suddenly changed. The mangled corpses disappeared, the blood and gore just vanished and Dean stood alone in the room with the little girl. He made his way towards her and he realised she looked a lot like Edward but she most definitely had his eyes.

He knelt down before her and she smiled up at him, her shoulder length hair now shining bright in the golden sun that spilled through the windows. Dean reached out to her and pulled into his arms, she smelt like Edward but it wasn't as strong. He looked down at her, studying her round face, her eyes, her hair, her ears and the more he looked at her then more he felt she was his. His perfect little girl…

"Dean, Dean?"

Dean's heavy lids slowly opened and he took in the face of an angel; ok vampire "hey" his voice sounded faint "what's up?"

"We're here" he replied, his eyes searching Dean's face and making the hunter feel slightly self conscious. He felt plain, bland, hell he felt ugly next to Edward. His lover was_ so_ perfect, so beautiful; it was hard to feel good looking next to someone like Edward Cullen. "You look paler then me" he said gradually "we shouldn't have left Forks. Not with you in a condition like this."

"Condition like this?" he snapped tersely "I'm pregnant. It's not a condition! So quit being overdramatic and acting like I might drop dead at any moment. God, you've been like this the whole drive" Dean sat up, wincing as his sore joints were jostled awake. Ever since he told Edward he was pregnant he had been mothering him, asking him if he were alright, feeling his forehead, glancing at him every few seconds. He was pregnant for God's sake, not dying.

"Dean, I said vampire pregnancies are rare and dangerous and result in death, so forgive me for being a little cautious" he paused to steady himself and Dean took this opportunity to give his lover the once over. His usually styled hair was wayward from him constantly running his hands through it, he looked tired which was a big thing since he didn't need sleep and he looked nervous, strung out. Maybe Dean should be a little more worried about this pregnancy.

Judging by the way Edward looked this was something that could go horrible wrong at any moment but just thinking this reminded him of his dream. How everything had been so horrible and then… then he saw her and it was all so perfect. Could something so horribly dangerous and unheard of led to something beautiful? "We should be in Forks with Carlisle, if anything goes wrong…" his hands suddenly tightened around the steering wheel and Dean feared for the cars safety "I just can't bear the thought of living without you again."

"Why'd you do it?" Dean asked. They hadn't really talked about this, the four years apart, it wasn't a tabooed subject it was just never brought up simply because it hurt. It hurt Dean to know Edward had let him go, with good attentions, yes, but it still hurt. And it hurt Edward because he had to let Dean go and that was like dying a thousand torturous deaths.

"I told you" he said warily "I wanted you to have normal life" his hands tightened around the wheel and the speed increased as they drove through Jackson "guess that's not gonna happen now" venom seemed to taint his words and Dean couldn't help but feel that Edward didn't want this child. It might just be because it could possible kill him though. "It hurt so much to let you go… it hurt to hear that you didn't remember me but I knew that I had to allow you to forget. If I went near you" he paused "I just had a feeling that as soon as you saw me you'd either remember or fall in love with me all over again" the speed increased "I couldn't risk it. So I let you go."

"And I came back" Dean said half heartedly.

"And I screwed up again" he murmured bitterly.

"How so?" Dean asked as he watched the traffic go by in rushes of colour.

"I got you pregnant" he said and Dean swore he could hear an underline of laughter.

"On the first go too" Dean quipped.

Edward did laugh at this but it was brief and the seriousness was back all too soon. "Do you know how much time we have?"

"Time?"

"Until the baby comes?"

"Not nine months, that's for sure."

Edward nodded, thoughtful then "I'm scared for you… I'm… I'm scared."

"Don't be scared" Dean said sliding towards his love "It will be ok, I know it will."

Edward smiled half-heartedly "we'll get our happily ever after, right?"

Dean mirrored the vampires smile before kissing him softly on the cheek "yeah baby" he only ever called Edward this when they were alone or when, like now, his lover need reassuring "we will." And they would… right?

**(………)**

"There will be no 'happily ever after' Sam, unless you stop Lillith!" Ruby stood before Sam, who fiddled with the flask of demon blood "so drink it and quit being a baby and help me find out where the bitch is!"

Sam sighed wearily before placing the flask to his lips and taking a mouthful and that's when it all kicked again. The crazy sensations, the need for more, the need to go out and fight just because he knew he was stronger now. He gripped the flask hard and lowered it and forced himself to put the cap back on before looking up at Ruby. "Do you know where this 'friend' of Lillith's is?"

"The hospital" Ruby replied as she pocketed her demon killing knife "we need to find her and make her tell us where Lily is and demand to know why she is snooping around a hospital."

"Does it matter?" Sam asked, feeling ready for anything.

"She's working for Lillith so it's a good chance it's the reasons for her hijacking a nurse" Ruby sat down beside Sam and gave him a small smile "we need all the info we can get our hands on. There might be something or someone she wants in the hospital so if she does we need to find out whom so we can save them" she nudged Sam with her shoulder "ok, Sammy?"

Sam smiled pensively at the use of the nickname; it reminded him of Dean and how much he missed the way things once were. He missed the days when his brother hadn't felt like a stranger, he missed them more than anything but ever since hell… well Dean just wasn't Dean. And now, _now_ he was about to become a vampire and apparently a father as well. Everything was out of place right now and Sam just hoped that it would all fall back. But right now, riding his demon blood high, Sam wasn't going to wallow in sorrow, no, he was going to find Lillith. He rose to his feet and walked to the door, Ruby in his shadow. He twisted the handle and pulled it open and just when he thought he could kill some demons he found himself face to face with his brother and his supernatural lover.

"Oh what a lovely surprise" Ruby said stepping out from Sam's shadow "Dean and his leech have come to see us."

Sam looked from Ruby to Dean, who, lucky for her, had ignored that "Sam you need to come back with us, ok?"

"What? Why?"

"The angels said so" Dean said flatly "That's why."

"Dean? What? No, I'm not going back to Forks" he snapped. "I have things here I have to take care of!"

"Sam, I am tired, I have driven all day and I am not going to argue about this" Dean pushed past Sam and entered the motel room "Now, if you have something you need to take care of" he turned around to face Sam "we will do it together, then we go home."

"Home?" Sam echoed "Forks isn't my home Dean. It might be yours but it's not mine, never was, never will be."

Dean scrubbed his hands over his face "it can be." He sounded defeated, like he just wanted Sam to give in and go without a fuss but he wouldn't. He wasn't weak like Dean.

"I don't want to be part of your new life Dean" he hissed and he wasn't sure where these words were coming from but he couldn't stop "you and Edward and your baby" Dean's eyes widened at this "can have Forks but I don't want any part of it."

"How'd you know?" typically Dean, ignore the part that hurt.

"Ruby overheard demons talking" some of Sam's anger was waning "they want it, Lillith wants it, we just don't know why."

"That's just fucking great" Dean said before whirling around to punch the dry wall "Fuck."

Sam went to go to Dean's aid but Edward beat him to it and for the first time in Sam's life, he could see Dean no longer needed him. He saw Ruby step towards them, her expression troubled. "I need a drink" Dean grumbled.

Before Sam could react Dean was reaching for the whisky flask full of demon blood. He quickly went to pull it from Dean's grip, a reason already on his tongue "Dean you're pregnant, you can't drink."

Dean looked from Sam to the flask then back again "are you hiding something from me?"

"What? No?"

"You have that look in your eye" Dean reached for the flask but Sam jerked it away "Sam, I know when you are hiding things from me."

"I'm not hiding anything!" he shouted.

"Right, because you're so trustworthy these days."

Sam didn't know what to say to this or even how to react. He'd hoped everything would fall right back into place only now everything had just completely fallen apart. Dean didn't trust Sam. Everything they once had just disappeared in that one moment. There was no fixing this now, their bond was broken and it couldn't be repaired. So there was no harm in doing this. Sam handed Dean the flask, he snatched it from him before unscrewing the cap and pouring the crimson liquid onto the already stained carpet.

"Blood?" he was looking at Sam now, like he was a stranger.

"It's demon blood" Edward spoke for the first time as he came to stand by Dean's side.

"Demon blood?" Dean looked livid but beneath it Sam could see the hurt "what is this for Sam?"

"I…" could he tell him, could he damage their bond beyond repair?

"Answer me damnit!"

"I drink it" he said hurriedly "and I know it's wrong but I need it to be stronger. I won't be able to stop Lillith if I don't drink it" he knew he was rambling but he couldn't stop "beside, you're about to become a vampire, so you have no right to lecture me about drinking blood."

"Oh, ok, I see" Dean retorted "so it makes this alright? Because I'm going to do it?" he paused, waiting for an answer which Sam didn't give. "Sam it doesn't make it alright" he threw the flask at the wall "drinking demon blood is wrong, it's sick, it's…" Dean trailed off and Sam briefly wondered why but his question was answered the moment Dean toppled to the ground. He once again went to go to his aid but Edward beat him and he was reminded that Dean didn't need him. They didn't need each other anymore.

**(………)**

Dean awoke to the feel of icy cold fingers running softly against his burning brow. He didn't need to open his eyes to know it was Edward who caressed his brow. It wasn't just the coolness of his touch that told him it was him nor was it the sweet smell that lingered in the air. He just knew, even before he started to rouse from the darkness. Finally he cracked open an eye and studied his lover's weary expression. He didn't know why but something felt different. He felt different. He couldn't explain it but he could feel something. It was an odd sensation and it seemed to be centered around his abdomen. His thoughts were immediately of the baby and he suddenly went to sit up, only to be pushed back down by strong but gentle hands.

"Hey" Edward whispered "easy."

"The baby?"

"Fine" he muttered before looking down at Dean's stomach which was now round and out of place on him "it's grown" he said just as glumly "you look six months pregnant and its only been about a week."

"That's just…" Dean trailed off, the sight leaving him speechless.

"We need to go back to Forks" Edward said, lifting the silence of the early morning.

Dean nodded but wasn't paying attention. His thoughts were once again racing, going from Sam to the baby, to demons and to the angels. He had so much to worry about right now. His brother was drinking demon blood and that scared Dean, because he knew he'd lost Sam. He wasn't sure if he could or even wanted to save him. He was always saving Sam, hell he died for him and this was his thank you. To do everything Dean begged him not to do. How could he go and drink demon blood and use his demonic powers and turn into a stranger? How could have everything they once had just disappear? Like it was nothing, like all of what Dean did for him meant nothing. How could everything fall apart?

_Because you left _rang in his mind and that was his answer. Because he left everything changed, because he tortured souls on that God forsaken rack, because he broke the first seal, because angels were real and because he was meant to stop Lillith, things had changed. He and Sam would grow apart because soon Dean would be a vampire and he believed Sam would be a demon or something close. Sort of ironic really, they spent their whole lives hunting the supernatural now they were both going to join them. The lines between good and evil were blurred and there was no one left to trust.

Well he could at least trust the man he unconditionally and irrevocably loved. And now, finally, as he gazed at his lover eyes, he could feel that blissful serenity and suddenly everything else didn't matter. It was just them. The chaos, the angels, the demons, Lillith and Sam didn't matter when it was just them, because when he gazed at Edward the rest of the world faded away. All the pain and the suffering just disappeared. Edward smiled softly at him and Dean had a feeling he might just have been listening in on his thoughts. He lent in, his lips cold against Dean's warm ones but it was always welcome but short lived, for the door swung open and in walked Sam and Ruby.

"Oh my God what happened to you?" Ruby exclaimed.

Dean looked down at his now large stomach then back at Ruby "she grew."

"She?" Edward repeated looking at Dean perplexed.

"Oh" Dean coughed "it's just a feeling."

Edward nodded but his expression said he didn't believe that but he didn't feel like going into detail nor did he feel like facing Sam but he did want to know why Lillith wanted his baby. So he slowly sat up, finding it rather difficult. Once upright, with some help from Edward, he looked to Sam, who looked away. "Did you take care of whatever it was you needed to take care of?"

Sam sighed and gradually turned to look back at Dean "We found a demon working at a hospital, she was there to get Lillith's dinner."

Dean made a face "what does she eat?"

"Babies" this was said by Ruby "and I am not kiddin you."

"That's disgusting" Dean subconsciously placed his hands on his stomach, protectively.

"Are you saying Lillith wants to eat the baby?" Edward asked, looking from Dean to Sam to Ruby.

"Spot on" Ruby said a little too cheerfully which got her a dark look from Sam "Sorry. But yes, she wants to eat your baby. Why, I don't know. There are plenty to pick from but yours is at the top of her list."

"Well then we have to find out why" Dean snapped "she can't have my baby!"

"Dean you are in no condition to go demon hunting" Sam said brusquely.

"Why?" he demanded "because I'm weak?"

"Because you're pregnant" he shouted "because Lillith wants your baby and if you go to her you are bringing her what she wants. That's why you can't go. Not to mention you passed out and now look six months pregnant. This time Dean you have to sit aside, you have got to let me stop her." Sam almost had a pleading look in his eyes but his words did sink in. Go to Lillith and she gets what she wants. He couldn't risk his little girl's life.

"Fine" he murmured "we'll go back to Forks and you find the bitch who wants to eat my baby."

**(………)**

Dean was terrified. He was God knows how high up in the air and for all he knew the plane could crash at any moment. Ok, it was unlikely the plane would actually crash but he was still going to hum Metallica. He was going to make Edward pay for forcing him onto a plane. He wouldn't allow Dean to drive or be driven back to Forks, said it was too far and they needed to get back A.S.A.P. He would have rather driven. Now he was stuck on a plane with a bunch of strangers who looked at him like was about to die at any moment and the airhostess kept flirting with Edward. He didn't like it one bit. Especially since he felt ugly and every time the airhostess, Kate or Kat or whatever, looked at Edward he felt worse and just wanted to burst into tears. Which, of course, was extremely odd but hey, he was pregnant he was allowed to be feeling a little odd.

The plane suddenly shuddered and he found himself gripping the armrests tight and trying to will his heart back to a normal rhythm. He felt the familiar touch of coolness upon his hand, the vampires fingers linked with Dean's and the fear faded. Taking a deep breath Dean took the time to study his lover, he looked as gorgeous as ever but he could see the worry in his eyes, which were duller than normal. Edward turned to face him, one of many small smiles on his never changing face. Dean mirrored it.

Edward suddenly burst out into a grin "the little girl over there" he nodded to his right slightly and Dean looked passed him to see a blonde haired child looking at him with wide eyes "guessed our secret."

"She guessed you were a vampire?" Dean asked in a hushed whisper.

"No" Edward said laughing quietly "she guessed you were pregnant."

Dean laughed at this as he looked at the little girl. She was about eight or nine, at an age where the imagination ran wild. So of course she thought a man with a big stomach was pregnant. Hell, he wouldn't be surprised if someone aged forty thought it because this bump was noticeable. "What does everyone else think?"

Edward looked back with a knowing smile "That you are fat."

"Nice" he said stiffening a laugh "what about Kate?"

Edward frowned at Dean "she thinks we both need a tan and that you need a doctor" he paused to offer Dean a quick kiss, not caring about the onlookers "she is right about the second though" he placed the back of his hand against Dean's forehead "you look like a vampire" he quipped half heartedly.

"Thanks" he said "I'm just practicing for when I turn."

Edward's smile faded and his hand moved from Dean's head to his beating heart "I'll miss this" he lent in and buried his face in Dean's shoulder "I'll miss your smell… and your eyes."

"My eyes…?" Dean looked down at Edward who was reluctant to move "what's going to happen to my eyes?"

"They'll be like mine" he sat up now and Dean had a feeling if he were human he's face would be flushed "after awhile."

"After awhile? What do you mean?" Edward looked around; people seemed interested in the same sex couple. Dean could see a few disapproving looks, not that he cared. He never cared what any thought, he just wanted Edward.

"They will be red at first" he whispered "for a few weeks, until you feed enough."

Dean nodded. Red eyes? He could deal with it. "Ok. Then they will be like yours?"

"Yeah" he sighed "but I'll miss your green eyes."

Dean smiled tiredly "I think… I think I will too."

Edward smiled again. It was weird, this moment; it seemed to be what Edward wanted. For Dean to say he'd miss something about being human. Suddenly he didn't seem as nervous or as against the idea of him becoming a vampire. As he explained more about what would happen after the change he smiled. He never smiled when they talked about this but it was different now. It wasn't like it was four years ago, a lot had changed. They'd both lost each other and by some twist of fate they found each other again and this time they weren't going to be separated.

They were bonded now. The child within Dean was a sign of that bond, a sign of their love. As he thought of his, _their_ baby he looked over at the little girl. She kept staring at them with her big brown eyes and blank expression. She'd moved seats since before, now sitting in the aisle seat, her mother and father beside her. Dean smiled at her; it was odd how in a plane full of people only she guessed the truth. She didn't smile back and all of sudden their seemed to be something sinister in that blank stare, something familiar. It was what he saw when he looked at Sam: A distant look of darkness.

"Edward" Dean could hear the panic in his tone and Edward picked up on it straight away.

"What's wrong?" he had his hand on Dean's brow, his eyes clouded with concern.

"Can you hear the little girl's thoughts?"

Edward removed his hand and went motionless, like an anxious statue. "No…" he stayed unmoving, only his face showed signs off his apprehension "No I can't."


	7. Chapter 7 Fate

**Chapter VII: Fate**

They had been back in Forks three hours and Sam and Ruby were speeding their way here and they had seen Lillith on the plane. Ok, they saw a demon on the plane and there was no proof that it was Lillith but she was the one who liked to possess little girls. Lillith was coming. She wanted Dean's baby and she could bring down a building with the snap of her fingers, Dean was doomed. He couldn't stop her.

She was too powerful, she was beyond him. But maybe, just maybe if she stayed away until he turned then he could try. He could catch her in a devils trap and send her back to hell. Where she could scream and scream and no one would hear her. Then Dean, Edward and their baby could get their happily ever after. So why couldn't Dean stop pacing the length of the room the Cullen's set up for him?

Maybe it's because he didn't believe in happily ever after's or hadn't until he met Edward. He believed in what he saw, death, demons, destruction, chaos and misery, he never saw happiness. Not until he stepped out of that diner. He believed then. And a part of that stayed with him long after he left Forks, long after all was forgotten. A little voice stayed, soft like velvet, telling him good things are possible. He believes it; he just can't see a happy ending coming, not with Lillith in the story. She was the most powerful demon Dean had ever faced and the angels expected him to be able to defeat her. He was only human and now he was pregnant.

As he sunk down onto the softest bed he had ever felt, he decided Sam was right and that he was weak, pathetic. If he had just been strong, if he had just held on then he never would have broken the first seal. He never would have done those horrible things and he was glad Castiel spared him the memories from hell but he still knew what he did. He broke the first seal now Lillith just had to break the rest and Lucifer walked free. The end begins.

"It won't end like that Dean."

Dean looked up to see Castiel hovering over him "you and Edward should really stop with the mind reading."

He doesn't reply to that "how are you feeling?"

"How am I feeling?" he asked in disbelief "I feel sick, my back hurts, I throw up, I want to cry, I want to know why Lillith wants to eat my baby, I want all of this to be over so I can just be normal." He sucked in a deep breath; he never thought he'd feel like this. His moods changed in seconds. He'd cry, he'd be happy, he'd be angry and it went on and on and it was all getting too much and he experienced all of these symptoms in the last three hours.

"Dean you will never be normal" Castiel says matter-of-factly and that was true, he was living proof of that "as for the rest, they are normal symptoms" he sat down next to Dean and gazed out the window. The rain poured down.

"Why does Lillith want my baby Cas?"

He sighed and shifted his gaze to Dean "I don't know. I haven't been informed."

"So someone does know?"

"I would say so."

Dean stood up and walked towards the door "I'm craving some ham, come back when you have some information." He departed from the room and descended the spiral staircase and stopped on the second floor. He should have told Cas that Lillith was on the plane, maybe he could have gone after her or stayed here on look out.

"I know."

Dean jumped in surprise and turned to see Castiel standing beside him "oh that's great, I wasn't in a chatty mood" he went to walk away but was stopped by a firm grip.

"Dean you don't look good."

"I don't feel good" he sighed "do you even know anything about vampire pregnancies?"

"Umm" he stayed silent and Dean counted to ten "no sorry I don't."

"So you just decided to make this possible without actually knowing anything about it?" _Fucking typical, _he added silently

"Zachariah knows about it" Castiel said gradually "but won't tell me."

"Whatever Cas, I've managed without angels before I can manage now" he once again went to walk away but this time he was stopped by the sound of footsteps. A blonde poked her around the corner, a surprised look on her face. "Rose" he exclaimed "ugh" he looked to Castiel who shifted his weight nervously "This is Castiel, the angel."

Rosalie made her way towards Dean, she eyed the angel briefly but her attention was drawn mostly to Dean and his stomach. "Dean you need to rest" she took a hold of his arm, the coolness seeping through his jacket. "Edward said you passed out last night and there are a lot of stairs in this house, we wouldn't want you to fall down them."

"Who are you and what have you done with Rosalie?" he asked bewildered. Rosalie hated him, with a blinding passion and here she was making sure he was off his feet and didn't trip down any stairs.

"Dean, Lillith is coming" Castiel spoke before Rosalie could answer "she may not know you exact location in Forks but where she will come. Do you understand?"

"He understands" Rosalie jumped in before Dean could even find words "he knows that she wants his baby and _he knows_ he has to stop her and he will. After he gives birth and is one of us." With that said she took Dean by the arm and lead him back to his room. "Ok you just sit here" he allowed Rosalie to push him back down onto the bed, he felt weak, like he was being drained of his life. "Anything I can get you?" she asked with a smile, a smile! She was smiling at him and part of Dean felt like p'aying her out but after all the conflict with Sam it was nice just to be wanted. And this was his family now and she finally accepted him, he'd just be grateful and wait until he could ask Edward why she changed her mind about him.

So with all the energy he had left he mustered up a smile "I'd like some ham please."

**(………)**

When Dean woke it was dark, his body dripped with sweat and the images from his dream were still clear in his mind. He felt ice cold fingers caresses his brow and he looked up to see Edward, a grim expression on his handsome face. He looked almost bluish in the pale moon light and it reminded Dean of his dream. He'd been in the words, the ground littered with bones and bodies hanging from the trees. Then he saw the little girl, _his little girl_, sitting amongst all the horror and chaos and it all faded away until it was him and her and everything was perfect. He closed his eyes and sighed, he felt exhausted though he was sure he had slept for hours. He moved closer to Edward, seeking the coolness of his skin.

"You're hot."

"I know" Dean said with a lazy grin.

"I don't mean that hot" he replied softly "Dean I'm worried. We know nothing about this. I'm scared for your safety."

Dean pulled away from the vampire "I will be fiiiugh" the rest of Dean's words were interrupted by a pain filled cry that echoed the sound of breaking bone. "Ah fuck" he cursed and threw his head back onto the pillow "fuck. I think the baby just broke my rib."

"What!" Edward lifted Dean's T-shirt, his lower right rib stuck out, a dark bruise already forming. "Shit!"

"I'll be fine."

"It broke your rib" Edward hissed "Dean this thing could kill you."

"This thing" he looked up at Edward, his jaw clenched in anger and pain "is _our_ baby" Edward went to respond but Dean silenced him. "She won't kill me Edward, I know she won't."

The vampire sighed in frustration "you're stubborn."

Dean scoffed "It's in the genes."

"Look, I know you think you're going to be ok but I'm worried! We know nothing and I don't want to loss you" his golden orbs darkened with despair and Dean swallowed the dry lump in his throat. Edward was extremely concerned about this and hell it was dangerous, she just broke a rib for Christ sake.

"I think I know someone who can help us."

Edward's eyes lit up like a Christmas tree "who?"

"Bobby Singer."

"You know Bobber Singer?" came a calm collect voice.

Dean looked up to see Carlisle walking into the room, his expression composed "yeah I do…" he paused "don't tell me you do."

"We go way back" he smiled "I should have thought of him earlier, he always has the answers."

"You know Bobby" Dean was stunned, how could Bobby have kept this from him? What if he knew he had forgotten Edward this whole time and never told him. He was jumping the gun, Bobby probably didn't even know about him and Edward. "First Rose starts treating me nice now I find out you know Bobby" Dean sighed and turned his gaze to his lover and smiled "it's a small world."

Edward mirrored the smile before turning back to his father "call Bobby, see if you can get him to come here."

"Of course my son."

As Carlisle departed from the room Dean thought he'd take the time to ask Edward about Rosalie's sudden change of heart. "Why is Rosalie trying to be my BFF all of a sudden?"

Edward chuckled dryly "she likes babies."

"She doesn't want to eat my baby does she?" he asked in good humor but his tone quivered slightly.

"No, not at all" he replied "she'd rather die than hurt a baby."

"Damn. If I knew Rose liked babies I would have let you knock me up years ago."

"Not funny Dean" Edward glowered.

Dean sighed, he had to help Edward understand that nothing bad was going to happen and he had a solution. "I had a dream… I had a few dreams actually."

"What were they about?" Edward asked as he snuggled closer to the man he loved.

"They were awful… everything was dead, there were bodies everywhere but then I saw her… our little girl, sitting there, in all the chaos and despair and horror there was something beautiful. It all just faded away and I was left with her and everything was perfect" he took Edward's hand into his own and squeezed it. "What if… after all the horror is over there is something amazing left? What if after all the pain in my life she is my little bit of hope" he moved Edward's hand down to rest on his swollen stomach "she's my diamond in the rough Edward; she is the light at the end of the tunnel."

Edward's expression was unreadable as Dean finished and he feared he had just wasted his time explaining that to him but he was proven wrong when Edward rested his head against Dean's stomach. Dean stayed silent as Edward lay upon him, the coolness seeping through his shirt onto his stomach. He tangled his fingers in his lover's hair and sighed with relief, he had gotten though to him.

"Dean…" he whispered "I can hear her thoughts" Dean looked down at the vampire in awe "She loves you" he whispered "she _adores_ you."

**(………)**

"We have to find out why Lillith wants Dean's baby so badly" Sam's hands tightened on the wheel and the speed increased "I mean there has to be something special about it, right?" he looked to Ruby, who, to be honest, looked bored. He glowered at her; it was times like these that he actually hated her. Demons didn't have much sense of humanity so she didn't really care if something happened to Dean's baby but Sam did. As weird and as fucked up as all this way that baby was family. Dean was family, he was Sam's older brother, his idol and he'd go to extreme length to protect him even if they weren't on the best of terms.

"Maybe eating a half immortal child will boost her powers or something" Ruby hedged as she fiddled with the stereo, tired of Dean's music. "I wouldn't worry so much about the baby. I'd worry about Dean."

Sam's gaze flickered between the rode and the demon "what do you mean?"

"Most vampire offspring kill their mothers on the way out" she replied nonchalantly.

"So Dean could die?" Sam's voice hitched with the sudden wave of panic.

"Well if he manages to survive the birth he can always get Edward to…" she trailed off, letting the unspoken words hang in the air.

"Turn him" Sam finally said "this is really going to happen" Sam forced the words around the lump in his throat. "Dean is really going to be one of them."

Ruby sighed "I don't know anything for certain Sam but Dean wants to be with Edward forever, so yeah, I'd say he'll become a vampire."

Sam nodded, words lost. He'd heard Dean say he was going to become a vampire, he'd heard it numerous times but now it really hit him. His brother was going to become something supernatural.

Maybe it was just fate.

**(………)**

Audrey, Audrey was a pretty name, maybe he could call her Samantha just to piss off Sam. No, she would be too beautiful for that name. She'd be the splitting image of Edward, or so he hoped, because if she looked like her father then she'd look like an angel. He recalled his dreams, picturing the little girl with dark hair and gold eyes, yes, she'd look like Edward. Dean ran his hand over his round stomach; nothing had ever felt so amazing. He couldn't wait to hold her, to feel her soft skin against his, to breathe in her smell and see her first smile. She'd make everything he had been through worthwhile. She and Edward were enough reason to live forever.

"For-ever" Dean said to his stomach "Ever" he felt her kick, this time she didn't break a rib, thank God. "You like that, huh?" he asked and received another nudge "Ever…" he smiled "Ever my little nudger."

"Aw that's cute."

Dean looked up to see Alice and Rosalie enter the room, carrying bags and bags of stuff "oh please tell me you didn't?"

"Of course" Rosalie made her way to the bed and placed the bags down near Dean's feet "nothings too good for my future niece."

Dean peered into a big purple bag with yellow spots. "Is she gonna need all of this stuff?" did one baby really need so many clothes and bottles and diapers and whatever else was in the bag?

"I'm more worried about what you need" this voice belonged to Dean's one and only. "I told you he was resting" he scolded his sisters who merely pouted. "Out" he pointed to the door and his fierce gaze made them collect their things and leave.

"Edward, you're my baby's father not my babysitter" he quipped feebly "just relax, ok."

The vampire sat down, a small smile playing on his features "I'm just worried, you look like death."

"And you look like a God" he grinned "but no need to make me feel pretty."

The corners of Edward's mouth twitched "have I ever told you that I love you?"

"Once or twice" Dean shrugged before leaning forwards and capturing Edward's perfect lips in a sweet kiss. He drew his lover nearer, seeking the fire that burned between them. He felt Edward's tongue sweep out and brush against his. Somewhere in the back of Dean's mind, he felt a sharp pain in his stomach, but thought nothing of it as he ran his fingers through Edward's hair, pulling him closer still.

All of sudden, Dean knew something wasn't right. He heaved, doubling over as he spewed crimson red onto Edward's pristine white shirt. The reaction was instantaneous; Edward was pressed to the wall on the other side of the room before Dean even had time to look up.

"S…sorry" the hunter croaked, dragging the back of his hand across his mouth, "I don't… I don't know what's happening."

Edward stared, wide-eyed as he licked his lips slowly. He could taste Dean's blood on his lips, smell him on his shirt… it was enough to drive a weaker vampire into a frenzy. Dean looked at him through large glassy eyes; Edward was about to make a mad dash for Carlisle when the door burst open and Sam stepped in, his eyes opening wide in horror when he took in the sight of his brother, soaked in blood.

"Dean!" the youngest Winchester raced across the room, "Oh God! What did _he_ do?"

Dean tried to fight through the haze "n… nothing" he wiped his mouth again, the taste lingering behind "I don't know what happened." Dean looked passed Sam, in search of Edward but he had vanished. "It wasn't Edward, Sammy" Dean closed his eyes, feeling the weight of the darkness press down on him "wasn't him…"

**(………)**

Sam wondered how it could rain so much. Forks seemed to always be shadowed in darkness and drenched in rain, there seemed to always be a distant eco of thunder or perhaps it's just his racing heart. Dean is dying, again, and it feels like he is always dying, that someone doesn't want him here and will stop at nothing until he is gone. But this time Dean is dying because he is trying to save a life. The baby inside him is killing him and there is only a small window of hope that he'll live long enough to become a vampire.

Sam figured, either way you looked at it, Dean is going to die, he is going to loss his brother. Once that venom floods through his veins he'll change, he won't be Dean any more. Well, not the Dean, Sam knows. So as he stares out at the rain he feels the tears sting his eyes, because he has to say goodbye to Dean. Not forever, just for awhile, while he gets his blood lust under control. Though a part of Dean will die when he turns, the human part, the warmth of his skin, the beat of heart, it will disappear and he'll just be a reminder of what Dean was. But maybe Dean was already dead to Sam.

"Dean's fine now Sam."

Sam turned away from the window to face Alice, her beauty a light in this dark day "Thank God."

She laughed, Sam felt himself smile, it was like hearing music "no, thank Castiel."

Sam shrugged "well close enough" he looked down at his feet, Alice made him feel like a school boy again "so what… uh… happened?"

"Internal bleeding" she made her way towards him, her walk like a dance "Castiel healed him. So he's ok now."

"But he is going to stay ok?" he looked up now, his face a mask of concern.

"Dean will be fine" she smiled "I see him as one of us."

Sam grimaced "I was afraid of that."

Alice sighed and placed her cool marble hand on Sam's chest "he will always be your brother Sam" she smiled softly "even if he is one of us."

Sam was about to reply when he heard the rumble of an engine he could pick out in the midst of a thousand cars. He turned to look out the large window; coming to a halt was a rusty old Ford. "Why is Bobby Singer pulling up in your driveway?" Sam looked back to Alice puzzled.

She merely smiled "to help us help Dean."

**(………)**

"Dean."

Dean slowly opened his eyes, the room was spinning in circles and all the objects blended together to make odd shapes. He could see a face hovering over him; it was a blur of white and yellow with streaks of gold. The fuzziness cleared and Dean could make out the face hovering over him: Rosalie (his new BFF apparently.) He licked is dry and cracked lips, the taste of blood still lingering behind. He wondered how long he had been out but that thought was interrupted when he realised Edward was nowhere to be seen.

He remembered the scared look on his lover's face, he could see him fighting off the urge to attack but Dean was never worried. His lover would never loss control. He had a vague memory of Sam rushing in, accusing Edward of harming him. Dean looked franticly at Rosalie, who had moved away from the bed and was now folding tiny winy baby clothes and placing them in the dresser. His panic momentary forgotten as he watched her place each article of clothing into the drawer carefully.

He watched her fold a white dress; it had pink bows all around the hem and two on each strap. Into the drawer it went then she held up a lavender jumpsuit that was adorned with pink hearts. He smiled at the image, he could picture his little girl in them; she would be beautiful.

"Do you think I will be a good dad?" he found himself asking.

Rosalie looked up from her task of folding clothes and smiled "from what I've heard you did a great job raising Sam."

"Yeah, sure" he grumbled as he sat up, the simple task much harder than it used to be "I did a bang up job there."

"Why do you say that?" she asked, sitting down on the end of his bed, a pink t-shirt in her hands.

"Because Sam's off drinking demon blood and using demonic powers and having sex with a demon!" he sighed "I failed. If I was a good brother he wouldn't be doing this, any of it."

Rosalie smiled softly "Dean, Sam's an adult; the way you raised him has nothing to do with the choices he is making now." She stood up again, walking back to the dresser. "Maybe if your dad was around more often Sam might be different."

Dean didn't need consider this; he knew if their dad had been around more then things would have been different. He looked down at his swollen stomach and vowed he'd always be there for her. He wouldn't leave in the middle of the night, a note taped to the fridge saying when he'd be back but not where he went, he'd make sure she had the life he didn't get the chance to have.

He was breaking the Winchester curse.


	8. Chapter 8 Angels, Demons and Vampires

**Chapter VIII: Angels, Demons and Vampires**

Dean stared out the window, watching the leaves dance on the wind before disappearing to find a new life elsewhere. The last few days in Forks had been stormy, the trees constantly blowing in the wind, the ground soaked through from the heavy rain, the sky never without a flash of lightening. The town of Forks was blissfully unaware that the end was approaching; they had no idea that very man recruited by angels to save them all was on his death bed. He knew he was dying, the life inside him was killing him but he just had to hang on, hold out until that beautiful, fiery venom ran through his veins.

He'd stop Lillith then; he'd tear her to pieces just for even thinking she could harm his daughter. Then,_ then_ he could have his happily ever after. No more demons, no more angels, no more; after this he was done. He'd given enough, he'd lost enough and it was time for him to have, _to get_ what he wanted: Edward, his daughter and a peaceful forever.

"Dean?" a gruff voice had Dean fighting off the haze "wake up."

He opened his eyes; his lids had never felt so heavy. He took a moment to recognize the man before him, but soon the scruffy beard, the haunted eyes and baseball cap had a name. "Bobby" he grinned lopsided "never thought I'd see you here."

"Yeah, well Carlisle and I go way back" he sat down carefully, eyeing Dean's stomach dubiously "Dean, some strange shit has happened to ya but this takes the cake."

"It totally suits me though" getting into a sitting position was hard and once up right he realised she had grown some more "hey nudger" he said, patting his stomach softly and receiving a gently tap from inside. "Good, you've learnt not to break Daddy's ribs" he looked up at Bobby, his face shadowed in concern. "How do you know the Cullen's?"

Without looking away from the bump he replied "I met Carlisle years ago, I was on a hunt and I got banged up pretty bad" he reached tentatively towards Dean and the younger hunter took his hand and placed it on the bump. "He saved me but I knew what he was, I knew I should kill him but there was… there was just no evil in his eyes" he looked up and smiled at Dean. "I confronted him and" he shrugged "I learnt that not everything supernatural is evil."

"Are you the reason Dad didn't kill Edward, by any chance?"

"He showed up in the middle of the night, saying you were under a spell and crazy in love with a vampire" he said "I managed to calm him down, got all the info I needed then spent nearly a whole day trying to get the message through yours father's thick scull."

"And that was?"

"That the Cullen's were good people, that they would rather die than hurt you" he looked towards the window, a faraway look in his eyes. "I had no idea they had moved to Forks, that's why when you rang me I gave you the usual drill, if I had known I would have made sure you left them alone."

"Well it all worked out in the end" Dean smiled "thank you Bobby."

"Don't thank me, not yet anyway" he looked down at Dean's stomach "I found some stories on vampire pregnancies and they ain't good."

"I don't care" he replied "just tell me how to survive this."

He let out a long sigh "can you handle drinking blood?"

"Blood? Like blood from where?"

Bobby rolled his eyes "from the corner store, from animals Dean."

"I… I" blood, the word made his stomach churn, he knew he'd have to drink it once he was a vampire, but that's what vampire's did, he could handle it then but now? "I can't drink blood!"

"You really have no choice" he replied, reaching into his jacket pocket and coming out with a silver whiskey flask that was sadly not filled with fine whiskey "or you die and maybe even" he pointed to Dean's stomach "your little nudger."

"Give it here" Dean practically tore his old friends hand off as he took the flask and unscrewed the cap. "This is for you ok" he said his stomach "you so owe me" he quickly placed the flask to his lips and downed half the bottle before he could even have a second thought. The scariest thing of all was it tested nice. Not the bitter taste of copper, but a sweet taste, one that tingled his senses and made him want more. "That tasted better than I could have ever imagined."

Bobby grimaced "well, keep drinking it, 'cause it's the only thing that will keep you alive."

"Thanks Bobby" he smiled.

"Don't mention it" he took the now empty flask and placed it back inside his jacket. "Is Sam ok with all of this?"

Dean chewed his bottom lip "I… he's not, not ok with it."

"I don't want to see you two get torn apart."

Dean looked down, his stomach was huge. He wondered what she looked like right now, safe inside him, blissfully oblivious to the world around her. "I'm going to call her Ever" he played with the blankets. "Ever Mary" he smiled fondly "not sure if it will be Cullen or Winchester, I'll let Edward decide" he felt his lids grow heavy, the darkness pressing down on him. "She's going to be perfect."

There was a flash of darkness, the soft touch of the pillows then he found himself in a field, the sun bright and the flowers an endless stream of white. He didn't need to think about how he had gotten here, he was dreaming and at any moment he would be faced with an angel. However the one who appeared before him was not who he expected; her fiery red hair glistened in the sun and her soft smile reminded him that there was one angel who was on his side.

"Anna."

**(………)**

She was beautiful, flawless, funny, kind and sweet, she was everything Sam wanted in a girl. Only she wasn't just a girl, she was a vampire, an immortal creature with timeless beauty, a velvet voice, a laugh as sweet as a song and a smile to brighten every day. She was Alice Cullen and dare he think but he was in love. Guess he was more like Dean then he could have thought. So with the understanding of love for a vampire Sam decided that he would accept Dean's wishes and push the matter no further. He could see nothing wrong with spending an eternity with a creature as beautiful as Alice.

"Snap out of it Sam!" Ruby hissed into his ear "I have some news and I need your head in the game."

Sam looked back to the demon "what? What is it?"

"Demons" she said, like she was not one of them "I heard talk that a few or more are coming here, to get Dean for Lillith."

"Why doesn't she come herself?" Sam asked, already forming a plan to keep Dean safe "she was on the plane."

"She doesn't want to face you, that's why Sam."

"Great" he scrubbed his hands over his face "we need to stop them before they reach here."

Ruby nodded in agreement "we need to go to town and seek them out; they don't know where exactly we are so we have to keep it that way. If one runs off, Lillith or an army of demons will be rolling up here and we'll be dead!"

"Why is this baby so important?" he mused.

"Let's not stick around to find out" she jumped to her feet "we need to go now."

"Go where?"

Sam turned to face Alice, her beauty momentarily robbing of words "Lillith has sent some demons to town in search of Dean" he said rising to his feet, easily towering over the small pixie-like vampire. "We're going to stop them before they can find us."

"Sounds fun" she grinned, revealing her fangs "you're not going without me though."

"You could get hurt" he blushed, no, she couldn't get hurt.

She smiled sweetly "thank you for the concern Sam but I will be fine."

Sam blush deepened "ok, well let's not waste time."

**(………)**

"It's good to see you again Dean" Anna smiled and stepped closer to the hunter, the flowers swaying at her knees "how are you faring?" she gestured to his stomach and her smiled faltered.

"I'm feelin alright thanks" he folded his arms over his chest, realizing that he could rest them on his baby bump, boy she had grown.

"That's good." She brushed a few strains of wayward hair from her face and sighed, "Dean, you need to be careful, it's not just Lillith that's after your baby."

"Is it you guys?" he asked shifting his weight "do the angels want her?"

"I think Zachariah does" she replied, brushing more strains of hair from her face as the wind howled across the open field. "I don't know why, I'm… well as you know I'm on the run, I don't see other angels, I just heard from afar."

"What else do you know?" he asked challengingly.

"That the angels made this possible, they wanted you to have a half immortal child" she shrugged "and… and it wasn't the beating that returned your memory, it was one of the angels, they wanted you to remember Edward so you could" she gestured to his stomach again. "They have planned something big Dean and I don't know what it is" her voice hitched "you need to be carefully, because if you're not, either Lillith or the angels will end up with your baby and I am scared of what they could have planned."

"What can the possible do with her?" he demanded his voice raising in anger.

"I don't know" she said defiantly "but whatever it is, it won't be good."

Dean regarded the wayward angel "what about Cas, can I trust him?"

"I think so" she said "he cares for you."

Dean didn't answer this; he had sudden memory of Castiel telling him not to return to Forks, but why would he tell him not return when really the angels wanted him here in the first place? "Cas told me not to come here, why?"

Anna shrugged "to protect you, I don't know. But this is good, we can trust him" she nodded with a soft smile "he wanted to keep you safe, keep you away from Edward so this wouldn't happen. Though" she sighed again "I don't think it mattered what anyone said or told you to do, you are drawn to Edward, you would have returned anyway. He is your soul mate after all."

"Is that why for those four years I felt like a huge part of me was missing?"

"Yes. You cannot be whole without the other half" she stuffed her hands into her jacket pockets "I guess that's why they chose you to have this baby" Dean crocked his head to the side and Anna continued "there is always something special about soul mate children, they have a power or are in tune with the world around them. It's rare for two people who are truly meant to be together to find each other and have a child. I guess that's just another reason why both sides want her."

"So I'm fighting heaven and hell again" he sighed "fucking peachy."

"Dean, we will make sure no one takes your baby" she closed the distance between them and placed her hands, palm down on his stomach. "We won't let heaven or hell take her, I promise."

Dean smiled half-heartedly "thank you Anna."

"Don't thank me Dean" she took a step back then vanished, leaving no trace behind.

"Dean?"

Dean heavy lids slowly opened, a white blurry face hovering over his, he smiled softly at his lover. Everything came back into focus and he reached up, one hand gripping the caller of the vamps shirt the other sneaking around to play with the strands of hair at the nap of his neck. He kissed him hungrily, forcing his tongue into the teen's mouth as he explored the familiar wet cavern. He only pulled back when he needed air and he couldn't wait for the day he didn't need it. He could spend hours upon hours kissing his lover; they could make love from dusk to dawn.

They could love each other forever.

**(………)**

It was a terrible day, the rain was coming down hard and the wind whipped harshly against those caught in its path. It made demon hunting more difficult, they needed to find Lillith's spies fast and they could be anywhere. Sam, Ruby and Alice sat in the Impala, the rain pouring down around them as they drove through the lonely streets. So far they had yet to find any demons but they hadn't exactly seen any normal people either, it was just too wet and too cold out. Demons may not worry about water but they could damage their hosts if they ventured out in this. And Ruby had said Lillith was trying to keep her spies low-key so a whole heap of people dying from exposure would be a demon give-away.

After an hour or so of driving around and just hoping to stumble upon a demon the rain slowed to a dribble and people ventured back out onto the streets. It was still cold; the wind bit into Sam's exposed skin and seeped through his clothes. The smell of rain was strong, mingling with the smell of car fumes and the occasional whiff of coffee as they passed by shops. They walked for miles, searching the streets for demons. Going by the few shops and restaurants Forks had before ending back up where they started, empty handed.

"Are you sure about this Ruby?" Sam asked, rounding on the blonde haired demon.

"Yes Sam, I am" she bit back "maybe they already searched the town, or they are just in hiding, waiting for Lillith to send them out."

Sam pursed his lips in thought "Maybe you're right."

"You think they are just sitting at home waiting for us?" Alice asked quietly.

"Well they're here somewhere" Sam replied as he climbed into the car, Ruby in the back and the pixie-like vampire beside him "Perhaps Lillith knew Ruby would find out" Sam mused "so she has set up traps, demons fighting on their own turf so they can get the upper hand" he looked back at Ruby who nodded in agreement. "I bet there is some poor possessed bastard just waiting for us."

"So they are waiting for us" Alice said slowly "to find them?"

"Or for us to give up and lead the way back to Dean" Ruby considered then added "we leave no survivors, you hear me?"

"Yeah, I hear ya Ruby" Sam muttered as he pulled away from the curb and headed off towards the streets that were lined with old weatherboard houses. Sam should have thought of this in the first place. If they knew Sam had been told they were here they wouldn't go out and walk the streets. They were in hiding, perhaps trying to convince him that there were no demons in Forks, well besides the one in the backseat. Maybe there big plan was to get Sam to come look for them and lead them straight back to Dean. Well, no one was going to know Dean's location and not one demon was leaving Forks alive.

"Sam" Alice voice broke into his thoughts "pull up over there" she pointed to an old two-storey white weatherboard house that had a large tree in the front yard and an old red truck. "I can sense them" she said "I thought I was just sensing Ruby at first but I can definitely sense others."

"Glad to have you around" Ruby said "ok, time to go kill and destroy."

Sam rounded on the demon "we're not killing anyone Ruby."

"Sam" she sighed "if there is more than one then we might just have to. It's them or Dean."

Sam scowled at the demon before turning back to face the house that loomed high above the car, casting its shadow onto the damp road. Something didn't seem right about all this but Alice said there were demons here, which meant it was time to send them back to hell. They crossed the front lawn quietly, listening intently for anyone lurking around in the shadows. The more Sam thought about this, the more anxious he got. He didn't have time to turn around and go back though, the front door swung open and a man in his late thirties stepped out.

Alice wrinkled her nose and sent Sam a warning glance: demon. They made their way up to the house, Ruby explained that their car had broken down and they had no signal and needed to use the phone. The demon nodded and let them in and he knew exactly who they were. The moment the front door closed Sam saw five other people in the room, two female and the rest male.

The man who had let them in turned around, his eyes as black as night. He folded his arms over his chest and the other five demons walked forwards, standing tall and black-eyed behind him. Sam readied himself for a fight, waiting to see who would strike first. A female demon with dark hair and porcelain skin stepped forwards.

"We're not here to kill you" she said "we're here to tell you where Lillith is" she paused and Sam studied her intently, demons lie, "so you can stop her."

"Why would you want that? Sam demanded.

"Because we don't want hell on earth" the man snapped "it's bad enough back in the pit" a cruel smirk crossed his face "just ask your brother."

Sam's jaw flexed "you don't want hell on earth or are you scared of Lucifer?" a few of the demons shifted, looking nervous but the female demon who stood up front walked towards Sam.

"If you knew what he could, _would_ do to you" she gripped his jaw, her black fingernails digging into his flesh "you'd be afraid all right."

"Enough Erica" the man that let them in shouted "we all know Sam is the only one who can stop Lillith, so let him go so I can tell him where she will be."

Erica sent daggers at Sam before releasing him and stepping back, her 'friend' stepping forward. "Well" Sam pushed "where is she?"

"She'll be at the Lake church tomorrow night at midnight" he replied nonchalantly "attempting to break the final seal."

"What's the final seal?" Sam demanded.

The demon shrugged "I don't know, but she'll be there" he stepped forwards, an evil glint in his eyes "and you best stop her, unless you want to face the apocalypse."

**(………)**

Dean kept what Anna said to himself. He hoped his mind reading lover wouldn't hear him replay it in his mind but he seemed too memorized by their unborn child's thoughts. Which were mostly centered on how much she loved and _adored_ Dean. There wasn't much else to think about since she had yet to see the world and the only things she knew of were her fathers and aunties and uncles.

But Dean was just glad that Edward wasn't as paranoid about this anymore and he didn't detect the small hints of hatred he had had for their child. They were just like a normal couple, waiting for their baby to born; only this baby was half vampire and wanted by angels and demons. Couldn't they find some other soul mates child to fight over? Why did everything around Dean lead a straight path to angels and demons? For once couldn't things be normal?

"Dean you are pregnant male, dating a vampire who is listening to your unborn child thoughts" Edward said, smiling up at him "normal doesn't exist in your world."

Dean mirrored the smile "Well when you put it that way" he chuckled before capturing Edward's lips in a soft kiss. "Sooo I was wondering what you'd like her last name to be?"

"Winchester" he replied promptly.

"You sure?" he asked "it is a gun after all."

Edward laughed "Positive."

Dean went to kiss his soul mate, when he felt the strangest feeling spread through his body before a crippling pain had him clutching his stomach in agony. He sucked in a deep breath as he felt the life inside him move, her small limbs striking out. The taste of copper tainted his mouth and he forced it down as he struggled to breathe through the pain. The world around him vanished and reappeared, each time becoming less clear. He could hear a distant echo of a frantic voice calling for help as cool hands held him down.

'It's going to be alright' whispered through the haze and carried him into the darkness.

**Please review :) and in a few days I should have my surprise Christmas story up! keep an eye out ;)**


	9. Chapter 9 Ever

**Chapter ****IX****: Ever**

The rain returned late afternoon, first a soft dribble then it came down hard. Sam stared out at the lake; the rain had long ago frozen him to his core. He couldn't even feel the wind whip harshly at his face. The world around him was forgotten, his mind a hundred miles away, in the small church that stood on the opposite side of the grey lake. He thought about Lillith, how he'd kill her, how he'd end all of this. He thought of ways he could kill her without using his demonic powers but unless he got close enough to stab her with Ruby's knife it would be impossible.

What would happen after she was dead? He'd once thought – not so long ago – when the yellow eyed demon was alive that he'd return to a normal life after the bastard was gone. But as soon as he was dead he and Dean had been thrown into a war against Lillith and on the clock to save Dean's soul. All had failed then and Sam realised he could never return to the life he had longed for. Hunting was in him just as much as the demon blood was.

Speaking of which, he'd have to drink more then he wanted to in order to kill Lillith. He wasn't sure what would become of him after he drank that much demon blood. He didn't care too much, just as long as Dean and his unborn child were safe. He couldn't hate Dean for wanting to become a vampire, he wasn't doing it so he couldn't die or feel pain. He knew that now. He was doing it for love, to have forever with Edward. Maybe the Winchester curse missed Dean and went to Sam instead and he hoped it had. Dean had given up everything for Sam and he'd repay him by respecting his wishes and killing Lillith.

"No one goes here anymore Sam."

Sam turned around to find Alice standing behind him, a large umbrella shielding her from the icy rain "Why?" his word seems to get carried away by the wind but Alice stepped forwards, coming to a stand by Sam, the large umbrella shielding them both from the downpour

"In 1972 a convent of nuns were murdered here" she replied, her golden eyes staring deep into Sam's soul "people used to say it was haunted, but Jasper and I went through it a few times. No ghosts, just a bad vibe left by a terrible crime."

"Who killed them?"

"A priest" she said "said he was possessed."

"So a demon" Sam looked back to the church "I have to stop Lillith."

Alice shifted beside him "maybe that's Dean's destiny."

The hunter held back a groan "the angels are wrong."

"I don't want anything to happen to you" Alice stepped closer, just mere inches from him "Dean couldn't bear it" it was her turn to look at the church "I… I couldn't bear it."

Sam cupped her chin in the crock of his fingers and brought his lips to hers. It was just a whisper at first but the desire pulled him back for another, he had to taste her. He pulled her close to him, the coolness of her skin making him shiver but the invisible flames burned bright inside. She suddenly pulled back; her eyes open wide. She looked as though she was about to say something when her cell phone buzzed nosily.

"Edward hey" she said in her usual chipper tone before going silent only speaking to say 'we're on our way' she ended the call and placed the device back into her pocket.

"What's going on?"

"Dean's having the baby."

**(………)**

When Dean wakes he is aware of two things. One: is that he is in the library, the room Carlisle set up for the birth. Two: His stomach hurts, like someone has hit him from the inside with a baseball bat. He feels the bump with shaky hands, he can feel Ever moving inside, getting ready to leave her safe womb and face the world. This is it, he is taking his last breaths, this life is ending and another is soon to begin. A cold hand sweeps across his brow, he looks up at Rosalie and he holds back the cries of pain as his little nudger tries to force her way out. The blonde vampire smiles softly at him, a sad earnest smile.

"I would have chosen a different path" she whispered before stepping back, her place being filled by Edward. He starts to explain what he is going to do but the words seem far away. Rosalie's words are loud in his head. Her sad eyes the only thing he can see. Should have he chosen a different path? Gone left not right. Should have he listened to Castiel, when he ordered him to forget Edward, to not return. No, this was his destiny, Edward was his true love. This was the right path.

"Dean?" Edward's cool hands were resting against his cheeks "are you ready?"

He could only nod. But he was ready.

"Dean!"

Dean turned his head, too heavy to lift, just in time to see Sam rush towards him. He looked tired, worn out, on the edge of self destruction and he was helpless to save him. He felt the pang of guilt that should have always been there stir within. Dean was the only thing that kept Sam human, how could he do that if he weren't human himself? Did he even have to bother though, to try and keep Sam human that is? He already seemed far away from it. But maybe they both were, they were equal monsters, Dean had proven how inhuman he was in hell.

"Dean you gotta pull through this" Sam whispered, eyes clouding with tears "Please."

"I'm not sorry" he whispered through the pain "I hope you understand why I am doing this."

Sam smiled feebly "I understand." He bowed his head "I guess we are both going to become something we're not," he looked back up, his eyes flashing bright yellow briefly before returning to the dull hazel that replaced the colour he had once known.

Dean held back a shocked gasp, he wasn't sure of what he saw. Was it a trick of the light or just his mind playing games on him? Or was this what Sam had become? A shadow of a demon or was he already there? The sound of snapping bone and the unbearable pain had all thoughts abandoned and the only thing Dean could do was throw his head back and howl in pain. Sam had jumped back in fright but it was Edward he sought out. His lover quickly injected the morphine into his leg before yelling something at Sum. Dean could only hear parts of what Edward had said. Something along the lines of, 'I need your help Sam.'

Sam nodded his expression unreadable through the thick haze that clung to Dean. In the waves of pain Dean's thoughts turned to a mess. This is wrong, the sharp jab of Ever's fangs against the inside of his stomach, you're getting your happy ending, a low grunt as Ever's fang sank into the flesh, Sam needs you human, the morphine barely covered the agonizing pain as Ever fought her away out, this is all about you. The pain grew and grew as did Dean's jumbled thoughts, each tugging him in two directions, this was wrong, this was right. Then nothing, no pain, no thoughts, just the sound of his labored breathing.

"I… I think the placenta detached."

Placenta… detached… Dean knew what that meant. It meant his baby was dying inside of him. "Get her out" he screamed "she can't breathe! Get her out now!"

"The morphine-"

"No! Now" Dean's screams faded to nothing as he gasped for air to refill his dying lungs.

"You have to promise me something" Edward whispered, his face was so close, his breath a sweet scent "you have to keep your heart beating."

"I promise" Dean forced his eyes open, forced a ghost of a grin to grace his face "just save her."

Edward vanished from Dean's sight and half a breath later he felt the tip of the scalpel against his skin. Black sports danced in front of his eyes as the blade cut him from side to side; he whimpered low in his throat. Something about the feel of the blade was too familiar. He could almost smell the copper, the stench of rotting corpses. The air was humid and clung to his sweat soaked skin. The feel of the scalpel sent his mind down the path to a locked door that suddenly flew open. All he could hear was a thousand cries of pain that mirrored his own.

"Dean!"

He could hear Edward and his brother shout his name in unison, their panic hitting him like a tidal wave. _Keep your heart beating. _He fought away the images of the burning pit and tortured souls and reached out towards the image of his little girl. _Keep your heart beating_. She was perfect, Dean's little nudger. She pushed away the memories of being tortured and pushed Dean back to the surface. He felt the pain again, it was horrible, sickening. There was a sudden snap, a burst of stars and a shocked gasp from his brother and Edward. Then there was no pain.

"What happened?" Sam asked, sounding miles and miles away.

"She broke his spine" Edward said, he sounded scared.

Where was his little nudger? Were they too late in cutting him open? In ripping through flesh to find the small bundle of joy? The words Dean wanted to ask balanced on the tip of his tongue but he found even opening his mouth to be impossible. He was a dead weight at the bottom of the ocean; the morphine crushed him just like the heavy water of the sea. He gave up on speaking and tried to force open his eyes, this he succeed in. He opened his eyes just in time to see Edward turn towards him, a small white and red body in his arms.

"Let me… give her to me" Dean wheezed, trying to lift his heavy limps.

Edward stepped closer, resting her on Dean's chest. She was warm, she felt human, _alive_. Her little, perfect round head was covered in a thick layer of dark bloody curls. Her irises were an astonishing green fringed with thick black lashes. Under the blood her skin was pale, ivory white like her fathers. As he gazed at his baby girl, _his daughter_, he realised she was even more beautiful than her father.

"Ever" Dean breathed "my little nudger, so beautiful."

Her tiny shell-pink lips parted; behind them were a full complement of snow milk teeth. She leaned her head down, her skin warm and silky against Dean's sweat soaked chest. There was a brief moment of pain then she was gone. Dean wanted to shout, to scream 'give her back to me' but he felt himself falling back to the darkness, the world around him closing in.

_Keep your heart beating. _

Dean fought away the darkness. No, he would not succumb to it. He had to stay alive, for Edward, Sam, Alice, Esme, Carlisle, Rosalie, Emmet, and Ever, his precious Ever. He'd go through endless pain for her; he'd hold back the darkness that offered escape for her. He'd keep his heart beating for her. Even if he felt like he was slipping away from the world, the feeling scary and familiar. He could feel the tension and panic in the room, it was clinging to him like cobwebs.

"I'm sorry" this was whispered by Edward, his words cutting Dean like a knife before he felt the sharp point of the needle filled with venom pierce his skin. There was a warm burst in his chest, nothing painful at first, just a comfortable warmth. He felt Edward's fangs sink into his wrist, a flood of warmth, he saw Sam look away. He felt his heart ache moments before the venom started to burn, to sizzle and scorch his insides. _Don't scream._

"Hurry up Edward he is losing too much blood" Sam shouted pitifully.

Another bite, another burst of agonizing pain. Creeping, creeping slowly through his veins, rising to unbearable pain then dropping to just a flicker. Rise and fall, rise and fall, until it suspended everything. Nothing,_ nothing_ but excruciating pain to flare in each limb, to flood through every vein, to burn and shared away his humanity. He wanted to scream, he couldn't move, everyone had been able to scream, couldn't he even have that? How could he let Edward know that he was ok? That yes, he was in pain beyond belief, but he would be fine.

'You're going to be ok my love' reached his ears over the loud buzzing that had ceased all sounds. Edward's reassuring and comforting words were like a wave of cool relief to the suffering hunter. The liquid fire seemed to dull in his veins, the darkness crept away. Something seemed off. The fire was cooling, vanishing from his veins; surely it had not been three days. He could feel the world coming back to him. He could hear Sam's sniffles, feel Edward's icy touch. He opened his eyes, gasped in a deep breath as the fire suddenly burned bright before vanishing to nothing. He felt no pain; he couldn't feel the sticky sweat or blood against his skin.

He sat up in a hurry, his heart drumming in his ears? His heart? Shouldn't that be still now? He looked from Sam to Edward; they were both covered in blood and staring wide eyed at him. He looked down at his stomach, no sign that Ever had existed. He quickly looked back up, searching the room for his little nudger, she was not here.

"What just happened?" Sam asked in a shaky voice.

"I have no idea" Edward whispered.

"I'm still human" Dean breathed "Why am I still human?"

"Because we won't allow you to become a vampire."

Dean looked passed Edward and Sam to Castiel who stood across from the large window, his wings could be seen as a shadow on the wall. "Why the fuck not?" Dean jumped off the bed and stormed towards Castile. "You son of a bitch" he grabbed the collar of the angels trench coat "why are you doing this to me?"

"We need you human Dean."

"Why" Dean pushed him back against the wall. "Tell me why Cas!"

"I can't say" he said gradually "I'm sorry."

"No you're not" Dean stepped back "get out of my sight. I want nothing more to do with you."

"Dean pleas-"

"-Get out!" he roared "and don't come back."

**(………)**

Sam raced down the many stairs in the Cullen house, Ruby was on the first floor with Alice and the others, waiting to hear that Dean was ok and the venom had worked. Well Dean was ok but thanks to the angels the venom had oozed out of his veins and left him human. Why didn't they want him to become a vampire? If they did want him to stop Lillith wouldn't he have a better chance at that as an immortal? Something wasn't right. Sam didn't trust the angels one bit and after this little stunt he was determined to kill Lillith so that Dean could finally get what wanted.

Alice, Ruby and Rosalie jumped to their feet when Sam entered, his clothes stained with blood. He took in the weary faces of Alice, Ruby and Rosalie, who nursed Ever. He walked towards Alice, she stepped forwards, a small smile on her perfect face.

"Is he ok?" she asked, taking Sam's blood covered hands into her own.

"He's fine" Sam took a deep breath "the angels healed him and won't allow him to be a vampire."

"Why the hell not?" Ruby demanded "what are they playing at?"

"I don't know Ruby" he replied calmly "what I do know is we have to kill Lillith, maybe then the angels will allow Dean to turn."

Ruby sighed heavily "well then let's take the bitch down! Tomorrow night Sam, we finish her."

Sam looked from the demon to Alice, she chewed her lip nervously "I have to Alice" he closed the distance between them and kissed her tenderly "for Dean."

She closed her eyes and rested her forehead against Sam's sweat soaked brow "for Dean."

**(………)**

Dean sat hunched over on the table. The room smelt of blood and sweat, the air seemed icy against his skin, his human skin. He should be burning; the venom should be flooding through his veins and tearing away every part of him that was human. He looked up as he heard Edward approach; he had stripped himself of his blood covered clothes and now wore a pair of jeans and a simple black T shirt. He took Dean's shaky hands into his own, so cold they were, Dean's should be the same.

"We will find a way, Dean."

"How?" he asked, looking up through glistening eyes. "If I don't turn, I will one day die and leave you and Ever here alone."

"I won't let that happen" he assured, his eyes lit with determination "they maybe angels but I won't them take away the thing you want most."

Dean smiled tiredly "well right now what I want most is Ever. Where is she?"

"Rosalie has her" he looked over his shoulder at the open door "want me to get her?"

"Please."

"Ok" Edward captured Dean's lips in a short sweet kiss "I love you."

Dean smiled wholeheartedly "and I love you" another kiss "more than anything in the world."

One more kiss and Edward disappeared in the blink of an eye, Dean let out a sigh of frustrated. Life was so much easier without angels, he'd much rather have the cute fluffy wing type then these bastards. Who did they think they were telling Dean he couldn't be a vampire? He'd have a better chance at icing Lillith as a vampire then human, he was weak like this; his life could so easily be taken away from him. Most angels didn't even like humans, thought them useless, so you'd think they'd be happy to have a vamp on their side. There was a whole story Dean was missing and he was going to find out what that was.

But for the moment his rage melted away as Edward walked into the room with his little nudger in his arms. Dean forgot the angels and demons as he stared at his little girl. She was perfect, so perfect. He took the small bundle from Edward and held her close to him. She didn't look much like a newborn, she was small yes but she looked about 8 months and he remembered clearly that she had teeth. Perhaps she aged faster being half vampire.

"She's perfect" Dean sighed.

"Yeah she is" Edward said peering down at her with a beaming smile "she has your eyes."

Dean laughed softly "she has your beauty."

Edward mirrored Dean's chuckle

Dean tilted his head and pressed a light kiss to Edward's lips. "She is worth the all the years alone, all the pain and sorrow, every bad day, she is worth it."

**(………)**

Morning brought a wild storm. Dean stared out the window with Ever in his arms and watched as the trees blew wildly in the wind and the dark sky lit up with lightening. His little girl watched the violent storm with wide eyes, she was not afraid, she did not cry when the thunder shook the house. She hadn't cried at all. This was a unique baby; she was growing rapidly, already looking ten months rather than a day old. He had called Bobby last night, to tell him Ever had arrived and that the angels were being a big pain in his ass and he needed to know what would happen if Ever kept aging like this. The answer was obvious but a small part of Dean said she'd stop; she would not age to one hundred in a matter of days.

He turned away from the window and walked out of the room as he heard voices drift up from downstairs. He paused behind a wall; he could hear Ruby and Sam's hushed whispers. Ever shifted in his arms, he pressed a soft kiss to her silky curls.

"Sam you have to drink more then I can give you" Ruby hissed "if you want Lillith dead that is."

"Ruby, of course I do" he replied tersely.

"Then what is the matter?" she demanded angrily "is it Dean? _Or Alice_?" she sounded smug and Dean pictured that pathetic smug smile that he had wanted to knock off her face a million times.

"It's not about anyone!" he defended "look never mind, let's go find a demon, ok."

"That's the spirit" Ruby chimed.

"And where would you be going Sam?" Dean asked rounding the corner, staring at his brother challengingly.

"Dean, man" Sam held up his hands in defense "I'm doing this for you."

"Funny, Sam, I don't remember asking you to become a monster for me."

"You asked me to become a vampire Dean" Sam shot back "isn't that a monster?"

Dean's burrow furrowed "I don't know Sam, does Edward look like a monster to you, or Alice? What about Ever?"

Sam faltered "Please Dean… just let me go."

"Fine" Dean stepped aside, holding Ever close to him. "I just hope you know what you are doing."

Sam stared at his brother pensively, "I hope so too."

**Please, please review :) Also I used some help from Breaking Dawn to write this chapter **


	10. Chapter 10 In This Moment

**Chapter X:** **In This Moment**

The scream that comes from the demon is so loud, so full of agony and fear that Sam almost, _almost_ feels sorry for her. She withers pitifully on the concrete and glares with malice up at Sam and Ruby. He has spent the last hour integrating her; he wants to know why Lillith wants Ever and what the final seal is, of course the demon said she doesn't know. Demons lie. He also needs the hell bitch's blood; he has to be strong to face Lillith tonight. He will kill her. He will make sure Dean gets what he wants.

"Why does Lillith want Dean's baby?"

The demon glares at Sam before throwing her head back and screaming; Sam lowers his hand and the cries ended. "I… d… don't know" she gasped "I just get Lillith's dinner; she doesn't sit around and chat with me!"

Sam looks to Ruby who shrugs "fine" he grumbles "what about the final seal? What is it?"

"Killing puppies" she retorted only to be rewarded by agonizing pain "FUCK!" she screamed "I don't fucking know!"

"Do you know someone who does?" Sam demanded.

The dark haired demon pursed her lips "Lillith and maybe someone else."

Sam held up his hand and another ear piercing shriek filled the room "I want names!"

"I don't know" she screamed.

"Sam, this is a waste of time" Ruby shouted over the horse screams "you need to save your energy for Lillith."

Sam looked at Ruby "I'm not leaving here without a name."

**(…………)**

Dean stared at Ever, her skin snow white against Edward's dark t-shirt. The storm raged on outside the Cullen house, it was only the middle of the day and it felt like night. Dean had a feeling that this wild storm had something to do with Lillith breaking the final seal. Right here, in this town. Alice had informed Dean of this and that the demons in Forks had wanted Lucifer to stay locked away. Now why didn't Dean believe that? Demons wanted to cause pain and misery, why pass up the opportunity to have hell on earth?

Dean looked at Ever, who was seated comfortably on Edward's lap, staring with big curious eyes at her father who's beauty marveled Dean. He felt a pang of pain at the realization that he was not yet a vampire, he was still human and one wrong move could leave him dead. He wanted to know why the angels wanted him to stay human, he wanted to scream and demand to know why but he knew no answers would come.

But what if there was someone who did know? A certain red haired angel with a fiery temper and attitude to match, perhaps? Anna would surely have an some sort of explanation to this, even if she just watched from afar. She knew how they worked, how they thought. The only problem was he had no idea of how to contact her. The sound of approaching footsteps that he could place in a crowd of hundreds had him looking up to see Bobby.

"Hey, I didn't say you had to come all this way" Dean rose to his feet and Edward followed suit, his back to Bobby to hide his new niece. Dean had determined that Bobby would be her uncle.

"I want to see your daughter Dean" he replied firmly "never thought I'd see this day."

Dean smiled and Edward turned around, their perfect little girl in his arms. Bobby's jaw dropped as he gazed at the half vampire half human child who had the beauty of an angel. "Bobby, I would like you to meet Ever Mary Winchester – Cullen."

"Oh my god" he took a step towards her "she's beautiful Dean."

"She takes after her father" he said and grinning at Edward.

"Did you find out about the aging?" Edward asked an underlying of fear to his words.

Bobby's shoulders sagged "so far nothing, but Carlisle and I are going to go and see someone who should be able to help us."

"Thank you" Edward said, smiling softly.

"Don't thank me kid" he replied "there ain't nothing I wouldn't do for family."

**(…………)**

"OK! OK! I'll tell you!" the demon sobbed "please… please just stop."

Sam lowered his hand and used his other arm to wipe the sweat from his forehead "this isn't saving your life" he said darkly "and if you lie to me I'll send you straight back to the pit."

She swallowed thickly and blinked the moisture from her eyes "the one who started it all" she took a deep breath "is the one who must die to set him free."

"She's lying" Ruby hissed.

Sam looked from the dark haired demon to the blonde "what if she's not? Dean stared all of this, what if he is the first and final seal."

Ruby pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes at the panting demon "it doesn't make sense."

"It's the truth" she shouted.

"If that is so" Ruby mused "why would the angels want him to stay immortal, why would they want him to have Ever?"

"Ever" the demon breathed "that's her name. I've heard so many whispers about her."

Sam and Ruby exchanged glances "tell us what you know?" they demanded in unison.

The demon's lips curled into a cruel smirk "you're all going to burn in hell."

"You bitch" Ruby growled, grabbing the demon by the throat "tell us what you know!"

"But if I tell you I will ruin all the fun and well" a dangerous glint flickered in her midnight eyes "Lillith won't be happy if I do that."

"I won't be happy if you don't start talking either" Sam said, coming into her line of sight, Ruby's knife glistening menacingly in the dull light.

"Well how about you talk to Abby, she lurves to talk."

"No you don't you little whore" Ruby slammed her head down against the concrete table but the demon only snickered before going limp. "Fuck!"

"What?" Sam damned "what's going on?"

**(…………)**

"Anna!" Dean shouted "Anna I need to talk to you" the silence of the forest stretched on, leaving Dean at a loss. He spun around in a slow circle, looking for any sign that the fiery red haired angel was about to appear. He needed answers, he needed them _now._ Too many questions were burning away inside him. He was desperate, at his wits end and when he needed someone the most he was alone, nothing but the screaming silence and icy breeze to torment him.

"God damnit I need some answers! Why are you doing this to me? I have done everything you asked, I've tried to stop the seals from breaking and I will stop Lillith if you just let me become a fucking vampire." His words echoed on the wind, repeating until fading away to nothing. Dean sagged, what was he to do?

"Fine" he screamed "you can all go to hell! I'm not helping anymore. Stop Lillith yourselves you selfish bastards. I'm going home and Edward is going to turn me and you are not going to stop me, you hear me! I am done, through."

"The world will perish in flames Dean" came the calm ominous voice of Zachariah "and if you walk away now it will be all you're doing."

Dean turned in a slow circle "let me turn and I will help."

"Sorry can't allow that to happen."

"Then screw you!" he growled "fight your own Goddamn war" Dean turned away, trudging down the muddy slope.

"If you walk away now I will kill him."

Dean stopped in his tracks, every inch of his body frozen in fear "I'll stop you" the words spoken were feeble, a slight tremor to his voice. Zachariah had meant what he said and Dean knew it but he wasn't going to show fear. Not to a freaking angels.

"No you won't" the angel laughed. "Turn around Dean" his tone was serious now.

The hunter turned back to face the angel, his expression a half hearted attempt at composed "Why me?"

"Because it had to be you Dean" he said evenly "it always had to be you."

"I won't do it" he said defiantly.

"Oh don't be a drama queen" the angel walked towards Dean, his stride fluent like a vampire's "You will defeat her. Trust us, we're the good guys."

"Not from where I'm standing."

The heavenly being scoffed "so you trust vampires over us?"

"Yes."

"I knew we shouldn't have allowed this to happen" he sighed, looking up at the clouds but no doubt seeing beyond them.

"Allowed what to happen?" he asked dubiously.

"Allowed you to come back to Forks."

"I thought it was you guys who returned my memory?" Dean felt his chest tighten "you made it so I could have Ever."

Zachariah smiled darkly "did we?"

**(…………)**

"You lied to me Cas" Anna snarled "I told Dean everything, without him knowing you had asked it of me and now I am hearing whispers that it wasn't the angels who made it possible for Dean to become pregnant. You made me lie to him! You lied to me!"

"You say angels like you are not one of us" Castiel said bleakly, his back to her.

Anna chose to ignore this. "What is going on Castiel?"

"Trust that this is God's will" he spoke evenly with an air of uncertainty that he'd never admit to.

"Trust?" she stormed towards him forcing him to face her "Trust God?" she took a step back, taking a deep breath to calm her. "No, that I won't."

"He is your father" Castiel retorted.

"No" she whispered, her emerald eyes never leaving his blue ones "Castiel, who made it possible for Dean to have this baby?"

"That is none of your concern" he turned away from her, looking out at the grey ocean.

Anna sighed "we can't trust the other angels" she placed her hand gently over his, scared he'd pull away "you must tell me the truth."

The older angel sighed "Anna… I don't know what you heard… but I doubt it's true."

"So you think it was the angels?"

"Yes."

"Did Zachariah tell you this?" she challenged.

He looked at her now, his ice blue eyes haunting "why are you questioning faith?"

"I'm questioning your faith in Zachariah" she said promptly.

"Why would he lie to me, Anna?"

"Because he will do whatever it takes to get what he wants" she replied bluntly.

"And what is that?" his tone matched Anna's, but there was something unreadable in his eyes

There is a brief moment of silence, the two words balancing on the tip of Anna's tongue as she decides whether or not to tell him. She takes a shaky breath, the smell of the sea and the passing rain linger in the air. She looks at the ocean, stretching on forever. "The Apocalypse" she whispered, the low words getting carried away on the wind, "The Apocalypse."

**(…………)**

By the time Dean made it back to the Cullen house he was a mess. Zachariah's words taunted him, forcing unwanted images of Edward's death into his mind. He wasn't joking and this was no game. If Dean didn't agree to kill Lillith then Zachariah would take everything from him. It was kill Lillith or lose everything he had. But what happened if he died fighting Lillith, hell he didn't even know how to kill the bitch. The Cult was gone and Ruby's knife was of no use, she'd skin him alive before he even reached for it.

And what did Zachariah mean when he said 'did we?' it had been them right? They had restored his memories; they had made it possible for him to have Ever, right? Right? The weight of his questions forced him to his knees, the ground damp and cold beneath him. He shook violently, he could hear a distant cry, he knew that sing song voice, it was Alice but her tone was laced with panic.

He looked up through thick fog, surely that had not been there a moment ago. Cold but gentle hands lifted him from the ground. When he came back to the world he was inside on the couch, a blanket covering his rapidly freezing body. He forced his eyes open, his lids suddenly heavy, he could see the worried pale faces of his family rushing around the room as though doing this would give them an answer. Dean had one but he couldn't get the words out, they sat on the tip of his tongue but he had to no energy left to speak them.

He desperately tried to hold onto the world around him but it was rapidly slipping from his grasp. He could see the world fading to darkness, could feel himself falling into the endless black. He couldn't hear his family anymore the only sound present was a high pitched ringing that echoed from somewhere in the dark. He was lost in the world of unknown for minutes or maybe it was hours.

The loud buzzing stopped and the darkness was replaced with god and white. He stood before a large marble top table; its surface so shiny he could see his reflection. He surveyed the room, taking in the many paintings of angels. Some standing proud, some in battle, one facing Lucifer. It didn't take a second guess to know the angels had brought Dean here, but why? Was this how they were going to make him face Lillith? Keep him away from the ones he loved until he killed the bitch.

"Cas?" he yelled "Cas, I know I told you to stay away but I really need to talk to you right about now!"

"Castiel isn't coming Dean."

Dean felt every muscle in his body tense. He turned to face Zachariah, looking smug as always "where the hell am I?"

"Unconscious on the Cullen's couch" he said smoothly.

"Are you saying I'm trapped in my own head?"

"Yep" he smirked "something like that anyway."

"Why?" he demanded, a dangers edge to his tone.

The angel shrugged.

"Quit playing games with me, you sonuvabitch!" Dean shouted, his own words echoing back to him. "Tell me what the fuck is going on! I am sick and tired of being kept in the dark. Everything you've told me about the seals, about who you are, about my pregnancy, it might as well all be lies because you never give me a straight answer. You tell me I have to gank Lillith, but not how, you say it was you who made it possible for me to have Ever then you say 'did we' and it's just one big fucking game to you!" he threw his arms up in frustration, sending a porcelain angel crashing to the polished floor.

"Ok fine" he said evenly "I will tell you everything."

"Everything?" Dean breathed "the whole truth and nothing but the truth."

The angel sat down on the white settee with a calm yet somewhat distrusting smile "It wasn't us who made it possible for you to have Ever."

Dean tensed, he could hear his heart pound in his ears but he kept his expression composed. "Then who was it?"

Zachariah lost his smile completely "demons."

"Demons?" Dean echoed.

The angel stood up, straightening his jacket "Alistair to be precise."

"Alistair" Dean breathed; he felt like the ground had opened up and swallowed him, throwing him into a different kind of hell. "D… does this make… make Ever evil?"

"She's a Dhampir, half human, half vampire; she's already pretty evil if you ask me."

The fear halted in Dean's veins, melting to raging fury. He lashed out at the heavenly being, slamming his first across the beings face only to do more damage to himself then the angel. It was like hitting a brick wall and it only enraged Dean further. "If you want me to stop Lillith then you better show me some respect!"

Zachariah laughed then in one swift motion he had Dean pinned against the wall, his hand wrapped tightly around his throat. "I may not be able to kill you Dean" his iron grip tightened "but I can kill everyone you love. Edward, Sammy, Alice… Ever" a cruel smirk crossed his face "I will kill your little demon offspring."

"She's not" his voice hitched with a sob "she is not a demon."

"Maybe" he dropped the hunter, letting him fall to the ground with a deafening thud "maybe not."


	11. Chapter 11 When the World comes Down

**Chapter XI: When the World comes Down**

Edward was numb. If he had a working heart it would be pounding violently in his chest. If he could feel physical pain he would be throwing punches because feeling some sort of pain would be better than this numb fear. He stood under a canopy of trees, the echo of rain and rustling leaves a distant noise. He looked up at the dark sky; he tried to look through the clouds, to see a answer as to why whenever he and Dean were together things went wrong. Edward had believed in God and angels, all his life but now, _now_ after meeting the so-called angels he questioned his faith.

He had proof in front of him that angels were real but the things they did, _had done_, made him wonder if there was a God. Where was God when Dean nearly died four years ago? Where was God when each member of his family's life came to a close end? Where was God now, when everything was falling apart? Why won't the angels, his soldiers, out there fighting demons? Stopping Lillith so Dean didn't have to? Where was hope on this dark day?

"Don't give up Edward."

The vampire turned around swiftly, narrowing his eyes at the angel he knew as Castiel "What's wrong with Dean?" he asked evenly, keeping his anger in check.

"What do you mean?" he asked, cocking his head to the side.

Edward laughed without homour "he's dying and you're not doing a Goddamned thing about it."

"Dying?" he looked generally confused "No, Dean should be fine. I healed him."

"Well you must have missed something" he half turned, ready to leave.

"Wait" he took a step towards the vampire, the ground crunching beneath his feet. "I honestly have no idea what you mean by this. If Dean is ill then take me to him so I can heal him."

Edward regarded the heavenly being, searching for a lie. "If he dies" he kept himself composed "I will kill you."

**(…………)**

Sam dropped his head into his hands, took a shaky breath and prayed to whatever God was out there that the demon or the girl would shut up. She was screaming bloody murder and worst of all she sounded so frightened, her pleas filled with fear only humans could have. Ruby said she could be playing games but Sam was sure she wasn't. The demon inside had let the girl she was possessing control her body again. Sam wanted to let her go; Ruby bluntly pointed out there was still a hell bitch snoozing in there. And he needed its blood.

He gazed up at the dark sky through the dusty glass window. The screams carried on, coming from the basement of the abandoned house he and Ruby were using as their base for lack of anything better to call it. His head was pounding and the loud music that suddenly blasted from his phone only made it worse.

"Bobby, hey" Sam answered tiredly "I'm kinda-"

"-If you're about to say busy, I don't care" the old hunter said "I tried ringing Dean but he wasn't answering his cell."

"Really" Sam looked away from the window, "Ruby and I are about to head over there. Can I take a message?"

"Tell Dean that Ever is a-"

"Who?" Sam asked scrubbing his hand over his face.

"Ever" Bobby repeated "Your niece."

"Oh right" Sam shook his pounding head. "What about her."

"She's a Dhampir, half human, half vampire" he could hear 'are you ok kid' underlying each word. "Carlisle and I found a record of a few, they grow to be a certain age then stop. Dean doesn't have to worry about losing her."

"That's great, great" Sam said, forcing too much cheer into the words.

"Sam, where are you?" Bobby asked "I can hear screams."

"I'm… uh… I gotta go" he quickly ended the call, falling against the wall with the weight of the world on his shoulders.

**(…………)**

Castiel took Dean's limp hand into his own; his skin was cool despite the blankets and roaring fire. He studied him carefully, searching for a clue to this mystery illness. When he looked at Dean he thought back to Anna. He didn't believe that Zachariah wanted to start the Apocalypse, why would he, an angel, want Lucifer free? But why would Anna say such a thing? Castiel closed his eyes, he was questioning faith, but the longer he was on earth the more he began to feel.

All this emotions were unknown to him, they were frightening. The things he felt were sometimes nice, like a warm wave was washing over him but most of the time he was uncertain of his feelings. They were too many thoughts running wildly in his mind, each tugging him in different directions and he no longer knew who to trust or what direction to head in. He partly blamed Dean for this, always telling him to think, to feel, for himself.

But the hunter was right. He needed to make his own decisions, believe in who he truly trusted and fight for what really mattered. What mattered right now, what truly mattered was that Lucifer stayed locked away. And that Dean, his only true friend, got the life he desperately wanted and most certainly deserved.

"What's wrong with him?"

The angel looked over his shoulder at the smallest vampire, her usual bright golden eyes dulled by worry. "I don't know" he spoke evenly "he appears to be healthy. It's… as though he is in a deep sleep."

"A deep sleep?" this question came from the blonde, who made the angel nervous "Well use your angel magic and wake him the hell up!"

"I can't wake him the hell up" he said, pronouncing each word slowly and precise.

"Can somebody else?"

The angel stood to face Edward. "Perhaps Zachariah can, he is more powerful than I."

Edward shook his head "No."

"No?" the heavenly being repeated confused.

"I don't trust him" he said flatly.

"What has he done for you not to trust him?" the angel demanded.

Edward looked away, those sad eyes looking at the sleeping hunter. "Why should I?" he looked back, his eyes as black as night "To be honest, I don't know why I should trust any of you, but I can't wake Dean from this so I need _your_ help. Dean trusts you the most, so I must trust in him."

Castiel was speechless. So this was love, so true and beautiful. In this moment he wished to feel the love that seared within Edward but knew he never would. "I will find someone whom Dean trusts even more than me."

"Another angel?" Rosalie asked from behind.

"Yes…" he said gradually before adding "she has recently returned to us, after falling from grace." He closed his ice blue eyes and focused, sending a message to the wayward angel. He felt her presence before he heard the flap of wings and when he opened his eyes he saw her standing behind Edward. "Anna we need your help."

**(…………)**

"Let me out of here you bastard!" Dean's lungs burnt, his throat was hoarse from his endless screaming. "You can't do this to me!" he kicked the wall, the painting of Michael fighting Lucifer shaking but not falling. "I am not your puppet; you can't just pull strings and expect me to do what you want me to. I have a right to choose my own life, you can't make me fight Lillith, you can't keep me from turning and you certainly can't keep me in my own head."

His rage was burning out, the fire slowing in his veins as he grew exhausted from his yelling and smashing. He had struck every wall, tore down paintings and knocked over statues but the room would magically fix itself. It was brand new and he could start all over again. He collapsed to the floor with a solid thud, he pounded his fists on the carpeted floor and kicked out at a angel statue, the loud crash covered up the sound of flapping wings.

"Stop acting like a two-year-old."

Dean jumped to his feet and turned to face Zachariah with fierce eyes "Let me out of here!"

"I'm not going to do that Dean" he said calmly, staring down at the broken angel "but I will tell you why" he looked up, clicked his fingers and the porcelain angel was whole again "is that fair?"

"No" Dean growled "but I will listen."

The old angel smiled darkly "I am keeping you here" he pointed at down that stupid dark smile turning into somewhat of sadistic grin "so you can't stop Lillith from breaking the final seal."

Dean was bewildered "excuse me? Did you say so I can't stop Lillith from breaking the final seal?"

"You're hearing is better than your humour" he said "but yes that is correct."

"Why in God's name do you want Lucifer free?" Dean demanded.

"So we can create our own perfect world" he walked passed Dean and looked up at the picture of Michael and Lucifer "Michael will defeat Lucifer and the world will become a peaceful place for all of us" he spun around as he said this. "A paradise."

"Do you know how many millions of people will die while you try to create this perfect world of yours?" the rage seared in Dean's vein, the need to stop him overpowering.

"What do you care about other people Dean" the angel asked, walking gracefully towards the hunter "about the world. You are so willing to become a vampire and say goodbye to having anything remotely normal. So what do you care if the world perishes in flames?"

"I care about the families, about the lives you are going to destroy" he was so close to the angel, their unique smell lingering in the air. "I care… more then you will ever know" he took a step back, the anger no longer visible, "or could ever understand."

**(…………)**

Sam entered the Cullen house in a hurry, his heart racing in his chest. Alice greeted him at the door, her usual chipper smile replaced with worry. He took her hand and she led him to the living where Dean lay unconscious on the couch. He crouched down by his brother's head, he felt the weight of the world crushing, _suffocating_, him. He could feel Alice's cool hand on his shoulder, the soft touch holding up some of the weight.

He rose to his feet and turned in a slow circle to face the vampire. She immediately pulled him into her icy embrace, but he held on, too afraid to let go. She whispered nonsense words to him but them and the embrace helped him focus. He let her go, their hands entwined between them. He stared down at her, she was so beautiful, a light to this dark, dark day. He had no idea how to wake Dean and Rosalie had told him that the angels had come but with no answers.

The only thing he could do was stop Lillith. Because that's all that had kept him going this past year, he had nothing more to hold onto. Expect now, now he had Dean back, his big brother, who now had a daughter. He had them, he had Alice. After all the pain and despair he finally had something worth holding onto, something that would not be easily taken from his grasp. He kissed the pixie-like vampire, her taste setting his senses on fire.

He wanted her now. To have her right here, but time would not stop for them, not even for the briefest of moments. He kissed her once more, slow and tender, savouring the few seconds he could share with her. When he pulled back, he found himself staring into golden eyes of hope.

"I love you Sam" she whispered, one of those perfect icy marble hands stroking his cheek "Please come back to us."

Sam's larger and warm hand wrapped around hers "I will" he titled his head forwards, his forehead resting against hers, a beating heart against a still one. "I promise."

**(…………)**

"What wrong with Dean, Anna" Castiel asked, walking beside the wayward angel along the near empty streets of Forks. He had never felt so restless, he couldn't keep still. He had to keep pacing the streets though he had no destination. Anna followed him, looking like she stood on the edge of a cliff.

She stopped and turned to face him, her once bright green eyes dull. "Castiel you must believe me when I say Zachariah cannot be trusted."

Castiel looked left then to the right, his lips pursed in a thin line "say I do believe that and tell me what you know."

Anna looked away, her whole body rigid "I told you Castiel. He wants to bring on the apocalypse."

"Then why would he ask Dean Winchester to stop Lillith?"

Anna looked back, she was falling apart "I don't know…"

"Anna you have misjudged Zachariah and should ask him and God for forgiveness."

"God's dead Castiel" she declared bluntly "or missing, I'm not sure. But what I do know is he is not giving us these orders. He hasn't been around for a long time Castiel. The world is falling and he is nowhere to be seen. So we must do what we can to keep it together."

"God is not dead Anna-"

"-Yes he is!" she interrupted, throwing her arms up in frustration. "He is gone and if he is not dead then he doesn't care about us, _any of us_. We have one chance and one chance only to stop Lillith and I need your help."

"And if I refuse?" he asked, staring down at her uncertainly.

"Then the world comes down."

**(…………)**

"Where's God in all of this?" Dean asked the angel who was about to fly off or vanish or whatever the hell it was he did.

"God" Zachariah asked with an amused chuckle "God's left the building."

Dean didn't have a witty comment to this or any words at all. He collapsed against the table, standing, _breathing_, had become too hard. He closed his tired eyes, picturing his beautiful baby girl. He wanted to just hold her, to breath in her scent and feel her warmth. He hugged his arms close to his body; the room seemed to have grown cold. Zachariah's earlier words screamed in his head. What if is little girl was part demon?

"She's not evil Dean."

Dean opened his eyes and stared at the angel "but it was demons who made it possible."

"Yes, but that was it" he replied and Dean could see that he was not lying. "She is not a demon."

Dean felt some relief wash over him but it wasn't enough to release him of his fears. "Why do the demons want her then?"

Zachariah didn't answer this, why would he? He just vanished, leaving Dean to agonies over the unanswered question.

**(…………)**

Night fell over Forks, the wild storm raged on, leaving the town in darkness. To humans it might be freezing but Alice couldn't feel it, she wasn't bothered by the fact the power had gone out, she could see just fine. She could see every faint breath Dean took, could hear every tick of the clock as midnight approached. 5 hours and Sam would be stepping into the battle of his life. In 5 hours everything would change if Sam failed. The world would descent into darkness if Lillith killed him, if he was a moment too late. She couldn't see how it ended and though she desperately tried the vision would not come.

She had to wait, hope and pray, like everyone else.

She took a seat beside Dean's head, her ever-cold fingers running through his short spiky hair. She wished she had an answer to his sudden illness, she wished the angels just let him turn; it would have made everything so much easier. Edward and Dean had been waiting four years for this, couldn't they be granted this one wish? They were soul mates, two bodies with one soul. They should not be denied this.

Alice heard a faint heart beat, she didn't need to turn around to know Ever was walking towards her. The youngest vampire buried herself into her aunties embrace, Alice held her tight. She was growing fast and Dean was missing it. She wanted him to wake up now, for Ever, for Edward. She felt dizzy of a sudden; a voice rang in her ear before she felt a vision pulled her away from the world. At first all she could make out was a white blur with streaks of gold but it shifted into a room.

She didn't take in her surroundings. All she could see was Dean, sitting on the floor, looking desperate and broken. It faded as quickly as it came; she shook with the effort of the vision. Ever looked up at with large green eyes, streaked with a of hint gold.

"Daddy trapped."

Alice gaped at Ever, the way that vision felt was different, like someone was forcing into her mind, someone like Ever. "I'm going to save him baby" she whispered into her niece's soft locks "Edward!" she shouted, lowing Ever to floor "Edward!"

"Alice" he appeared by her side "Alice what's wrong?"

"Ever… Ever showed me Dean" she folded her arms to hide her trembling hands "He's trapped. I just don't know where."

"What was in the room?" he demanded "Alice do you remember?"

"Paintings" she whispered "of angels."

Edward looked murderous, Alice stepped in front of Ever to hide her from her father "you can't kill angels Edward. We don't have that kind of power!"

"Watch me" his voice was dark, heartless, his eyes were black and his body rigid as he turned away.

"Edward!" Alice was frozen. She couldn't make her legs work, couldn't find the strength to throw her arms out and stop him "Don't! Don't do this."

He looked over his shoulder "Look after them if I don't come back."

Alice didn't have time to protest further, he vanished into the dark night, leaving the vampire to try and pull herself back together. She didn't have much time to calm herself; she felt the telltale signs of a vision before it hit her, hard. It was nothing she had seen, it was just glimpse of people screaming, of a blinding white. She saw a blonde haired woman with white eyes; Sam with black eyes, his arm outstretched and a pained expression. There was laughter, screams, fear and pain she could feel. There was a high pitched ringing, something that had the power to make your ears bleed. There was Sam looking devastated, Ruby looking smug, Dean breaking, Edward dying, _the world ending._

**I'm not sure when the next chapter will be up, I have to go have an operation but I will try and finish this story. I'm sorry and thank you all for reading.**


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